Thursday, March 18, 2021

What You Are Not Being Told. "Getting and Spending, We Lay Waste Our Power." Boy Have We. China Policy Going Soft.

























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What you are not being told, and will not learn about until too late, is Biden's approach is driving The Saudi's into the arms of Iran, or possibly The Saudis may wake up and realize they are better aligning with Israel and The Abraham Accords.

So far Iran is humiliating Biden.

 Time will tell. Stay tuned.:

What happens when America turns its back

Iran has felt emboldened and empowered to colonialize the Middle East with its proxy, terrorist armies stretching from Tehran to Baghdad, to Damascus to Beirut, and all the way to the Mediterranean.

By Sarah N. Stern

As the old saying goes, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” And when the United States vacates a portion of the world’s stage, we often see some actors who do not have the most benevolent intentions rapidly swooping in to fill the void.

It is with a great deal of sadness, therefore, that we report a meeting on Monday between a four-member delegation representing the Iranian terrorist proxy, Hezbollah, and the Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov.

This meeting also coincides with the 10th-year anniversary of the Syrian “Arab Spring,” the failed uprising against the suffocating chokehold of Syrian President Bashar Assad.

It is worthwhile to recall the events: Spurned on by the heady, youthful idealism sweeping across the Middle East and buoyed by the overthrow of Tunisian President Zine al-Abidine Ali in January of 2011, two young Syrian boys, Moawiya and Samer Sayasina, scrawled on a wall in their hometown of Daraa: “Your turn, Doctor” (referring to Bashir Assad, an ophthalmologist).

In a region known for its brutality, what ensued since then in Syria was particularly brutal. Approximately 500,000 people have died in the Syrian conflict, with estimates of at least 5 million refugees and 6 million internally displaced persons.

Assad was quick to form alliances with Tehran and Moscow, and secured territory of its own. The Syrian government, backed by the strength of Russian forces, deliberately targeted civilian areas, including hospitals, schools, homes and marketplaces. The Russian-Iranian Syrian axis used cluster munitions and barrel bombs to target civilian life. Throughout these 10 years, we have been hearing graphic reports of inhuman abuse and torture of political prisoners, including sexual abuse of both men and women, and of many fatalities associated with it.

They have been particularly brutal in Idlib province, once a stronghold of the American allied Kurdish resistance.

Former President Barack Obama let the slaughter take on its own lifeform under his watch. We recall his famous “red line” to Assad of Aug. 12, 2012, “We have been very clear to the Assad regime, but also to other players on the ground, that a red line for us is we start seeing a whole bunch of chemical weapons moving around or being utilized. That would change my calculus.”

It was exactly one year and nine days later, on Aug. 21, 2013, that Assad launched a chemical-weapons attack on Ghouta Syria, killing hundreds and leaving thousands—mostly children—moaning and trembling from the constricted breathing, pain, nausea and muscle spasms associated with a Sarin nerve-gas attack.

And what was Obama’s response? His first reaction was to make good on his promise to go to war against Assad if there was a chemical attack, but then he dithered and punted the ball to Congress. Congress, in turn, with Obama’s blessings, punted the ball to Russia, with its plan to have a framework for destroying the chemical weapons, most of which depended upon the Syrian regime to police itself.

This was a turning point in which the world noticed the great power and moral authority of the United States diminishing as it retreated from the world’s stage, creating a moral vacuum. America began telegraphing that it was tired and exhausted from wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and hesitant and afraid of further military intervention. This has continued throughout the Trump administration and up to today.

Meanwhile, Iran has felt emboldened and empowered to colonialize the Middle East with its proxy, terrorist armies stretching from Tehran to Baghdad, to Damascus to Beirut, and all the way to the Mediterranean. And, of course, they have entrenched themselves deeply into Sarna. Interestingly, the Islamic Republic which cries “poverty” because of the U.S. sanctions, has developed a project to entrench itself into Africa. In 2017, they opened a hospital in Kampala, Uganda, which the Iranian foreign minister, Mohammad Javad Zarif celebrated with great fanfare. And Iran is deepening its presence throughout Latin America, and most especially, into Caracas under the regime of Nicolás Maduro.

They do this out of a combination of religious zeal and unadulterated hatred of America.

We see by now that Lebanon has become a failed state, with the Iranian proxy Hezbollah firmly implanted and dominating into every aspect of their society—deep into the commercial, political and military sectors. The Lebanese pound is now worth $0.0006. The Lebanese people are feeling helpless and bereft as they watch their country being consumed by the cronyism and corruption of Hezbollah.

And Hezbollah is trying to replicate that model in Syria. If it were not for the vigilance and actions of the Israel Defense Forces, that goal would have been achieved by now.

This is all happening while America has turned its focus away from the Middle East. Funny what can happen when American turns its back.

Sarah N. Stern is founder and president of the Endowment for Middle East Truth (EMET), a pro-Israel and pro-American think tank and policy institute in Washington, D.C.

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 Implications of the Latest Iranian Attack on Saudi Oil Facilities

The past two weeks have seen a considerable escalation in the fighting between Saudi Arabia and the Houthis in Yemen. The latter recently succeeded in wresting extensive lands near the city of Mar’ib from Yemeni government forces, and the Saudi air force responded by hitting numerous targets in Yemen, inflicting casualties and wreaking destruction.

At the beginning of the month, ballistic missiles and drones struck the Saudi oil-loading facility — the largest in the world — at Ras Tanura, north of the port of Dammam on the Persian Gulf. It was from this port that the Helios Ray, which belongs to Israeli businessman Rami Ungar, sailed and was attacked on February 25 in international waters in the Gulf, forcing it to retreat to the port of Dubai for repairs. 

The Houthis took responsibility for launching the missiles and drones at Ras Tanura, just as they took responsibility for the major strike on other Aramco facilities in September 2019, which tied up about half of Saudi Arabia’s oil-exporting capacity for weeks. Sometime after that strike, information leaked that the launch had not been carried out from Yemen but from Iraq, and possibly even from Iranian territory.

The recent attack was very similar to the one in September 2019. Like that one, it was a blow to the most important, sensitive, and vulnerable Saudi targets (oil facilities), it was conducted with Iranian missiles and drones, it was launched without warning, and the Houthis claimed responsibility. As a result of the attack, global oil prices shot up to about $70 a barrel, a consequence that slightly improved the outlook for Iran’s economy. 

Ras Tanura is about 1,000 kilometers from Yemen, which increases the time the missiles and drones would have had to be airborne and also increases the likelihood that they would have been detected and intercepted by the kingdom’s air defense systems. An attacker always seeks to shorten ranges, which decreases both flight time and chance of interception. Hence it appears that this time, too, the launch was from Iraq, and perhaps even directly from Iran, its neighbor across the Gulf.

It is highly likely that the world’s intelligence organizations know the exact location of the launch but are keeping quiet so as not to a) reveal that they know details the Iranians are trying to hide; b) compromise information sources; or c) embarrass the US administration, which seeks to return to negotiations with Iran and ease the burden of sanctions.

Why, then, are the Houthis assuming responsibility for an attack on Saudi Arabia that they did not perpetrate (if that is indeed the case)? There are a number of possible answers. One is that Tehran expected and perhaps even demanded that they take responsibility so Iran would be spared punishment. Another is that the Houthis wanted to flaunt the achievement to the masses, boost their support in Yemen, and sow fear in the hearts of their opponents both within and outside Yemen.

Riyadh, for its part, tried to downplay the attack with a laconic announcement by its Energy Ministry about a strike on the Ras Tanura facility “by a plane that came from the sea.” There are three points to make here. First, the Energy Ministry, not the Defense Ministry, was the one to issue the statement, implying that this is a problem for the energy industry and not a security problem. Second, the “plane” is described as coming from the sea — that is, from Iran, which lies across the Gulf, or from vessels that were sailing in the Gulf. And third, Saudi Arabia is not buying the Houthis’ claim of responsibility as they are located 1,000 kilometers southwest of Ras Tanura while “the sea” is east of it.

It is likely that Saudi intelligence knows perfectly well who attacked the kingdom and from where, but is choosing not to reveal this information. There could be two main reasons for this: first, the Saudis will not have to respond; and second, the information may have made its way to Saudi intelligence via a foreign intelligence counterpart on condition that it not be publicized or transferred to a third party without the source’s agreement.

The fact that Saudi Arabia is not attacking Iran in response to the ongoing strikes on Saudi strategic targets stems from the balance of power between the two countries. From a military standpoint, the kingdom is substantially weaker than Iran. In addition, the fact that Saudi Arabia’s diplomatic standing is better than Iran’s has not brought the countries of the world — not even the US during Trump’s tenure — to offer it active assistance. The world is willing to provide the kingdom with antimissile and antiaircraft systems but will apparently not dispatch air, naval, or ground forces to salvage it. The Saudis understand the balance of power vis-à-vis Iran very well, and so they continue to absorb Iranian blows quietly. They are well aware of the huge price they would pay in a direct war with Iran, and therefore have not openly blamed Iran for the attacks.

Israel must take the attack on Saudi Arabia seriously, as those who attack sensitive sites in Saudi Arabia with missiles and drones can also strike Israeli strategic facilities. If no one takes responsibility for such an attack, it will be hard for Israel to retaliate.

The last thing the Biden administration wants is an overt war between Iran and any country. As long as such a war lasts, the US cannot negotiate with the Iranians on a return to the nuclear agreement, their ballistic missile program, or their interference in the security of other countries. This approach by the Biden administration is meant to constrain — or, preferably, freeze — any Israeli plan for a direct attack on the Iranian nuclear program. Covert operations would probably not be acceptable to the administration either, particularly if they involve shortening the life expectancy of one scientist or another.

The most important conclusion Israel should draw from the strikes on the Saudi oil facilities is that Riyadh is incapable of defending itself effectively, and any diplomatic progress with Saudi Arabia must be based on that fact. With all due respect to Saudi Arabia’s high and honored status in Arab and international arenas, any strategic reliance on Riyadh must be cautious, restrained, and level-headed, taking into account that the kingdom has a difficult time defending itself.

Saudi Arabia’s current relations with Israel are much more in the Saudi interest than in Israel’s, so there is no reason why Israel should sacrifice its own vital interests — for example, sovereignty over parts of the homeland —  on the altar of relations with a kingdom that is afraid to call an enemy by its name even when that enemy attacks it again and again. If, one day, the establishment of Israeli-Saudi ties is declared, one hopes they will include a “secret appendix” that ensures that Israel is in no way obligated to defend Saudi Arabia from “any enemy that is in the sea.”

Lt. Col. (res.) Dr. Mordechai Kedar is a senior research associate at the Begin-Sadat Center for Strategic Studies. He served for 25 years in IDF military intelligence specializing in Syria, Arab political discourse, Arab mass media, Islamic groups, and Israeli Arabs, and is an expert on the Muslim Brotherhood and other Islamist groups.

This is an edited version of an article that appeared in Makor Rishon and at The BESA Center.

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Pelosi tells you it is for "the people" when ,in fact, it is really for "deplorables and Neanderthals."

As I warned in the previous memo, it is time to awake from Democrat "Wokeness." The problem is it may be too late.

"Getting and spending we lay waste our power." and boy we sure have!


H.R.1 – Is It Really "For the People"?

by Chris Farrell

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Soros funded Philadelphia's District Atty's campaign so this could happen.


Philadelphia’s Violent Crime Rate Is Spiking Thanks To Failed Leftist Political Agendas

Democratic Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney and city officials acknowledged the city is on track for a record number of homicides, shootings, and confiscated guns this year, following months of Black Lives Matter and Antifa riots.

“It makes me absolutely sick to know that so many Philadelphians have suffered these preventable deaths,” Kenney said at a press conference Wednesday. “It’s painfully clear that we must take new approaches.”

According to new data from the Philadelphia Police department, homicides are up 30 percent in 2021 year-to-date. There have been 412 nonfatal shooting victims, whereas there were 258 last year. In total, 690 individuals have been arrested for illegal firearms compared to 355 last year. African Americans accounted for 86 percent of the shooting victims.

The city will now be holding bi-weekly briefings for the public that will be streamed on Facebook Live. The violent crime increase in Philadelphia can partially be attributed to Democratic District Attorney Larry Krasner, who created a court diversionary program titled Accelerated Rehabilitative Disposition that gives violent criminals a second opportunity to be released after a probationary period.

Krasner received $1.7 million from billionaire George Soros in 2017 in his election campaign. The Krasner campaign and Soros PAC spent about $1.9 million, which pales in comparison to the second-highest campaign money spent by Michael Untermeyer.

Soros notably invested $220 million in Black Lives Matter and other “racial equity” groups in July. He is also a backer of the Minnesota Freedom Fund that bailed out rioters and looters in response to the death of George Floyd. Krasner has come under fire for his controversial past of suing the Philadelphia Police department 75 times and calling law enforcement “systemically racist.”

“In 2020, when Philadelphia was ravished by radical left organizations like Black Lives Matter and criminal opportunists who rioted, looted, and torched police cars, District Attorney Larry Krasner failed to hold the perpetrators accountable,” nearby Montgomery County Commissioner Republican Joe Gale, who is currently running for governor in the Commonwealth told The Federalist.

“The Philly DA is clearly more concerned with placating progressives and furthering his political agenda than maintaining law and order. This toxic attitude of indifference is why Philadelphia suffered nearly 500 homicides and over 2,200 shootings last year,” Gale said.

“We don’t give up. We don’t give in,” said Kenney in January. “We are determined to save lives and create peace. We will turn the page on this dark chapter in the history of our city, and we will write the new book together. I vow to be with Philadelphians every step of the way as we take on this challenge.”

In June, Kenney dropped his prior proposal to increase police funding, and instead vied to slash budgets.

“We think we can police better and make sure we put the resources in the departments that can affect change and make the situation in our neighborhoods better,” he said this summer. “We want to approach this open-mindedly, but some of these things have to happen.”

Cities across the country experienced notable shootings and homicide increases this summer, with as much as 265 percent in Atlanta, 130 percent in New York City, 250 percent in Los Angeles, and 525 percent in crime increases in Seattle.

At the 2020 presidential debate in September, then-President Trump harped on the corruptness of Philadelphia.

“Bad things happen in Philadelphia,” Trump said, “bad things.”

“We are all responsible for what goes on here. This is our community and these are our children,” said Police Commissioner Danielle Outlaw.

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You can also kiss Virginia goodbye:

Virginia Democratic Gubernatorial Contenders Endorse BDS Movement

DemocratsVirginia Democratic candidates for governor / YouTube screenshot

An entire panel of Democratic candidates for Virginia governor endorsed the anti-Semitic Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions (BDS) movement during a Tuesday evening debate.

Each of the candidates participating in the virtual Virginia's People's Debate promised to buck pressure from pro-Israel groups that want to see the state outlaw the BDS movement due to its association with virulent anti-Israel figures and terrorist groups operating abroad. Some states have already approved legislation that prevents the government from allocating taxpayer dollars to any group that supports or works with the BDS movement. Virginia lawmakers shot down a similar law in 2016 and 2017.

Former Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe, a Clinton ally widely seen as the frontrunner in the race, did not participate in the forum but has come out in the past against the BDS movement. He was 1 of 50 governors to endorse an anti-BDS campaign organized by the American Jewish Committee. He did not respond to Washington Free Beacon requests for comment on the debate and his current view of the BDS movement.

Those candidates hoping to beat out McAuliffe took a decidedly different approach Tuesday evening when they were asked a loaded question by the debate moderator about how they would approach the BDS movement, which was described as "a form of peaceful protest to secure Palestinian rights and pressure Israel to comply with international law."

State senator Jennifer McClellan said that, as the child of parents who participated in the American civil rights movement, "I will not do anything, anything that will criminalize that behavior and movement. I will be a brick wall against any efforts to criminalize that activity."

Delegate Lee Carter, an avowed socialist, went even further. He said that Virginia should not be a home to the Virginia Israel Advisory Board, a small local group that fosters investments in Israel, America's closest ally in the Middle East.

"I am a supporter of the BDS movement," Carter said. "I believe the human rights abuses that are being inflicted upon the Palestinian people are among the worst currently ongoing in the world."

Former delegate Jennifer Carroll said that "criminalizing BDS is unconstitutional" and that she would block any effort aimed at reducing the BDS movement's footprint in the commonwealth.

Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax took a similar stance.

At least one Republican running for the office described the positions offered by his Democratic challengers as "scary."

"This is scary and dangerous," GOP candidate Pete Synder tweeted. "More proof that those in charge in Richmond and those Dems running for Governor are simply out of the mainstream. They are extremists. On many issues."

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Jerusalem at odds with Washington »

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Deadline to recall Newsom ends. 

Here's what you need to know 

about it


Wednesday marks the long-awaited deadline for the recall organizers

 against California Gov. Gavin Newsom to turn in their signatures, in hopes of 

ousting the Democrat.

Recall organizers have collected more than 2 million signatures, far exceeding 

the required 1.5 million needed to trigger a recall election in October. However, 

the secretary of state's office must still verify those signatures, more of which 

could be submitted to county election officials today.

What's next?

Elections officials must complete their review of signatures by April 29. Over 80% 

of the signatures collected have so far been validated.


The recall proposal must also go through a 30-day window in which supporters 

can withdraw their names from the petition, giving Democrats a chance to 

campaign in hopes of convincing people to nix their support. 

And:


Always a dollar short and day(s) late:

Georgia Judge Signals Ballot Audit Can
Go Forward
READ →


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Sent to me by  a long time friend and fellow memo reader:


Joe Biden's Strategy on China Boils Down to One Word:
Soft

By Christian Whiton 


There is a prevailing view on both sides of the Pacific that President Joe Biden will treat
China in a manner similar to his predecessor: skeptical of Beijing’s promises and strong
against Chinese belligerence from the Western Pacific to cyberspace.

This assessment is elegant but wrong.

The conventional wisdom was reinforced by this week’s prominent meetings between top Japanese and South Korean officials and their American counterparts, Secretary of State
Anthony Blinken and Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin, with the usual paeans to
“linchpins” of security. None of that pomp will accompany the muted gathering Thursday
and Friday in Alaska between Blinken and national security advisor Jake Sullivan and
senior Chinese officials: top diplomat Yang Jiechi, and State Councillor Wang Yi.

It is true that two months into his presidency, Biden has not ordered a reduction in any of
the tariffs or export controls that former President Donald Trump enacted on China. Like
clockwork, the U.S. Navy sends a ship through the Taiwan Strait each month and
intentionally dwells in waters and airspace dubiously claimed by Beijing.  

The language from Washington is more soothing still. Biden nominees for high office
promise in confirmation hearings to be appropriately wary of China. One who initially did
not do so sufficiently, Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo, had her nomination delayed
and it only proceeded after assurances that export controls would remain in place.
Blinken has criticized Beijing for trampling democracy in Hong Kong and abusing human
rights throughout the country

But this should be better understood as posturing by the administration and conducting
the alliance maintenance necessary in order to turn subsequently to reducing tensions
with Beijing—a process which as long as Chinese Communist Party boss Xi Jinping is in
power will necessary involve mostly American concessions.

Recall that Hillary Clinton, who was Barack Obama’s first secretary of state, also made
her first official stops abroad in Japan and South Korea, promising that, “The alliance
between the United States and Japan is a cornerstone of our foreign policy.” But what
followed was not a period of strengthening alliances among East Asian democracies
against China. Instead, the Obama-Biden administration focused on expanding trade with
China, gullibly accepted bogus Chinese promises not to cyber-attack the United States or militarize the South China Sea, and browbeat allies like Taiwan with delayed arms sales
and tacit endorsements of soft-on-Beijing politicians.

Will this pattern repeat? One indication it may is that the Biden administration seems
intent on picking up where the Obama administration left off on nearly every foreign issue. It already stopped the Keystone XL oil pipeline with Canada, rejoined the Paris climate
agreement, and sought negotiations to rejoin the 2015 nuclear deal with Iran. These were
all Obama administration priorities put on hold by Trump. So too was the discredited
globalist view that economic integration with China would eventually improve security and
human rights.

Biden himself has been limited in his criticism of China, calling the government there a
rival or competitor, but not an adversary. While administration officials recently told the 
New York Times they planned to retaliate against Russia for cyber-attacks last year, they
made no such direct vow for the major breach of Microsoft email systems that the
company attributed to China.

Biden has few places other than China to turn for a diplomatic breakthrough that any new administration wants. He just caused a collapse in relations with Moscow by blithely
calling Russia’s president a “killer”—a pointless but damaging flippancy that even cold
warriors like Curtis LeMay managed to avoid. Iran and North Korea have rebuffed Biden’s attempts to negotiate, undoubtedly preferring to wait for payola before talking.
Trump largely achieved peace between Arabs and Jews, removing for his successors the perennial Lucy’s football known as the peace process.

Furthermore, cautious voices like Blinken’s are losing debates within the administration.
The impetus to meet early with the Chinese came from the National Security Council, not
the State Department. Asia policy czar Kurt Campbell sought for the meeting with the
Chinese to occur

in Washington; the Chinese settled on Alaska. Campbell was the top Asia diplomat at the
State Department for Obama’s first term, boasting of the “pivot to Asia” that contrary to
billing saw U.S. power recede in the region. At the White House, he is joined by climate
czar John Kerry, who desperately wants to get to yes on a landmark climate deal with
China.

The administration has assured reporters and members of Congress that the meeting with Chinese officials is just to reiterate in private concerns they have expressed publicly.
What is more likely is that having gone through the kabuki of being seen supporting allies
with stops in Tokyo and Seoul, the Biden officials’ main goal will be to begin laying the
groundwork for undoing Trump’s approach to Beijing. Probable topics of discussion
include reducing U.S. tariffs or export controls, a summit between Biden and Xi, and
trading Huawei executive Meng Wanzhou, currently held in Canada on corruption
charges, for prisoners held by China.

Unfortunately, a major change in U.S.-China policy is likely coming.
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This was sent to me by one of my closest non-Jewish friends and fellow memo reader.  I
sent him back this old Joke:

Kid always called Bubballah (endearing term) by his mother. Finally goes to school and
when he comes home his mother excitedly asks, so Bubballah what did you learn in
school today . Bubballah replies, I learned my name is Irving.

Lamentably, humor today is no longer corny, sweet and funny. Like most everything in our society it is vulgar,
sharp edged and mostly unfunny. Comedians feel the need to use the "F" word because it gets a laugh when
everything else they say is greeted with  "loud" silence.

A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT IS THAT WHILE JEWS MAKE UP ABOUT 2% 

OF THE U.S. POPULATION, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN THEY MADE UP

 ~50% OF THE FAMOUS COMEDIANS (ACCORDING TO A UC 

BERKELEY PROFESSOR WHO STUDIES HUMOR).

 

You may remember the old Jewish Catskill Comics of Vaudeville days:

 

Shecky Greene, Red Buttons,

Totie Fields, Joey Bishop,

Milton Berle, Jan Murray,

Danny Kaye, Henny Youngman,

Buddy Hackett, Sid Caesar,

Groucho Marx, Jackie Mason,

Woody Allen, Lenny Bruce,

George Burns, Allan Sherman,

Jerry Lewis, Carl Reiner,

Shelley Berman, Gene Wilder,

George Jessel, Alan King,

Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers,

Jack Carter, Rodney Dangerfield,

Don Rickles, Jack Benny,

Mansel Rubenstein and so many others.

 

There was not one single swear word in their comedy.

 

Here are a few examples:

 

* I just got back from a pleasure trip.  I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

 

* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years!  If my wife 

ever finds out, she'll kill me!

 

* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's 

making love?   Honey, I'm home!"

 

* Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it.  The 

thief spends less than my wife did.

 

* We always hold hands.  If I let go, she shops.

 

* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night.  Only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

 

* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed.  My wife 

called it the Dead Sea.

 

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours.  That was only for the

 estimate.  She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.  Then 

the mud fell off.

 

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live.  The man couldn't pay 

his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

 

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."  Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

 

* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"  Patient: "I am 60!"  Doctor: "See! 

What did I tell you?"

 

* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."  Doctor: "Don't answer it!"

 

* A drunk was in front of a judge.  The judge says, "You've been 

brought here for drinking."  The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

 

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?  They're worth it.

 

* The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.  The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

 

*There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.  

In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates 

from medical school.

 

Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?

A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

 

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?

A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

 

A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?"  "Not too 

good," said the mother. "I've been very weak.  "The son said, "Why 

are you so weak?"  She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days.  

"The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"  

The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled

 with food if you should call."

 A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a 

part in the play.  She asks, "What part is it?"  The boy says, "I play 

the part of the Jewish husband."  The mother scowls and says, "Go

 

back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

 

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a 

nuisance to anybody."

 

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."

"Force yourself," she replied.

 

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?

A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

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