Puny Puns. What Should I be Called Now That I Have Shed My Conservative Scales? Poisoning The Guard. "Root Canal."

Some corny puns which are lowest form of humor:

Tuns of Puns

 

1.   Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

 2.  Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.

 

3.   If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.

 

4.   Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

 

5.   A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.

 

6.   I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

 

7.  How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

 

8.   I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

 9.   I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.

 10.   Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.

 11.   Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.

 12.   Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.

 13.   Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.

 14.   I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

 15.   What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.

 16.   I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

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I admit to being a conservative so if I embraced the following what would I be called?

I favor open borders, sanctuary cities, elimination of ICE, rioting, allowing only one view on college campuses, am against owning weapons to defend your "castle," but favor allowing natural born males to compete against natural born females, insist on whiteness instruction in the work place, oppose peace in the Middle East until Palestinians stop being abused by their own leadership, favor Iran going nuclear under the auspices of UN oversight, payment of reparations even though I was born 100 or more years after the identified event, spending the next generation's future, allowing China to become dominant, want only one party rule, support voting by non citizens and oppose ID's to vote.

I also favor socialism over capitalism, believe those who oppose my social views be called racists, use a pandemic to close schools and lock down the entire society including those who wish to continue worshipping but not liquor stores and defund police and reinstate affirmative action policies but limit them to blacks seeking to enter colleges.

I also favor changing the national anthem and support athletes turning their back when the current anthem is played. I want to democratize the military and favor minor criminals laws be abandoned and thus, eliminate incarceration and the need for bail money.

I also favor allowing grade school curriculum to eliminate such courses as American History and math because they penalize black students and I favor private technology companies the freedom to exercise their right to eliminate those who use their platforms and allow IRS bureaucrats to decide who gets tax status waivers at their discretion.

I have left out a few other items I would be willing to embrace in pursuit of "equity" and entitlements to undo the systematic racism upon which our nation was founded as defined by The New York Times.

So please decide for me what I would now be called in terms of my political status.  Would I be a Democrat, a progressive a Bidenest, a populist?

I have been made to feel like a snake and believe it is time to shed my conservative scales.

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Biden looks more like a deer staring at headlights:

First look:   At least 10 rockets target Iraq base housing US troops National Guard stationed at Capitol sickened by undercooked food Dr. Seuss' stepdaughter fights charges of racism against her dad Boehner's new book won't make him many friends in DC

Rockets target US troops in Iraq, still no briefing on Syria bombing run Headline: 10 rockets strike Iraqi base hosting US troops The First take: Overnight, at least 10 rockets targeted a base in Iraq housing US and coalition troops. We can only assume they are a response to the administration's bombing in Syria last week. As details are slowly coming out about last night's attack, we also hear reports the president has yet to brief top members of the Senate on last week's air strike against suspected Hezbollah militia members in Syria. Talk to us, Joe. Come on man.  READ IT ALL HERE BONUS: Day 41 of Biden's presidency and Joe has not held a press conference  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  The price American patriots pay to protect our corrupt Democrats: https://thenationalpulse.com/breaking/whistleblower-reveals-disgusting-meals/ And: Maybe we can house them on the Capitol grounds: https://legalinsurrection.com/2021/03/report-admin-lacks-resources-for-the-expected-117000-unaccompanied-children-at-border-this-year/ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  Reading this op ed is like having a "root canal." The Communist Takeover of the United States? The floodgates are open. By Wayne Allyn Root This is part deux of my series on the communist takeover of the United States. Part one, last week's column, centered on the real new president: Barack Obama. I do believe the new president is, in fact, the old president. This is the third term of Obama. The first time around, Obama tried his best to destroy America, American exceptionalism, our Judeo-Christian values, our capitalist economic system, our health care system (17.7% of the U.S. economy in 2019) and the great American middle class. Obama gave it his best shot. He crippled America, but he couldn't quite finish the job. He needed Hillary Clinton to be elected to do that, but we all know how that turned out. Former President Donald Trump managed to bring out the biggest turnout of white middle-class voters in history for the 2016 election. Obama vowed to never let that happen again. Hence the election of the old, weak, feeble, brain-dead Basement Biden, who's clearly hopelessly lost and confused with dementia. He's fallen, and he can't get up. Obama likes it that way. Joe Biden is Obama's puppet and front guy. Obama can now finish the job and do it under the cover of darkness. He can carry out his plan more ruthlessly than he ever could when he was the first black president and wanted to convince American voters he wasn't "radical" or "extreme." Back then, Obama had to move with caution; he had to boil the frog slowly, as I warned in my 2013 No. 1 national bestseller, "The Ultimate Obama Survival Guide." All that is history. No more moving with caution. See Biden's record-setting executive orders. They are as radical and Marxist as anything ever seen in America's history. Here in part two, I will explain Obama's actual plan. I learned it at Columbia University from 1979 to 1983. I was Obama's classmate at the Ivy League college where Marxism and the destruction of America were taught in every classroom. The plan was called Cloward-Piven, named after a husband-wife team of Columbia professors. Richard Cloward and Frances Fox Piven (pictured above) created the perfect Marxist plan: Get every American possible on welfare and other government handout programs in order to overwhelm the system, bring the national debt to levels never imagined, bankrupt America and bring business owners to their knees when the economy collapses. Then you've got a socialist country. I recognize exactly what's happening today in America with Biden as the PINO (president in name only). Obama is using a modified Cloward-Piven plan. Democrats (aka socialists and Marxists) have tried to get everyone on welfare for the past 38 years, since Obama and I graduated from Columbia. They came close, but they could never quite overwhelm and collapse the system. The success of capitalism and former Presidents Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump got in the way. But now Obama has modified the plan. He is going to use the next four years to open the borders and MAFA (Make America Foreign Again). If you can't get every American on welfare, then change the composition of America. Open the borders and recruit millions — eventually tens of millions — of foreigners who don't speak English; who know nothing about American history or the U.S. Constitution; who have no education, talent or skills; who require cradle-to-grave welfare; who will vote Democratic forevermore in order to keep the welfare checks coming. Soon America will be so filled with foreigners that America will become foreign to Americans. And those foreigners will tip the scale and overwhelm the system with all their welfare, food stamps, free health care, free education and a thousand other needs. Have you seen Biden's executive actions? Have you closely watched Biden's first five weeks in office? It's all dedicated to open borders. It's an obsession. It's all about illegal aliens. It's about giving them every form of welfare imaginable. It's about giving them rights, privileges and advantages American-born citizens don't have. This is the Cloward-Piven plan Obama and I learned at Columbia, modified by Obama. He's overwhelming the system and collapsing the U.S. economy by flooding our nation with illegal aliens. The floodgates are open. The disaster has begun. In part three, next week, I'll identify every detail of this plan. Wayne Allyn Root is a CEO, entrepreneur, best-selling author, nationally syndicated talk show host on USA Radio Network +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++