Friday, March 17, 2017

Defining Infidel. New York The "Menstrual" City and de Blasio Now Further In The PInk!. Common Sense Takes Over Our Foreign Policy

Defining an infidel according to this Imam.

Frankly, I do not know whether this posting  is factual and, if not,  it really does not matter.  It is simply food for thought and if there is some basic truth in what the alleged author presents, then we need to stop and think about whether, and if so how, we can integrate Muslims into our society and encourage them to embrace a less socially threatening path.

If we cannot, because of legal restrictions, social mores etc., then we have a serious problem facing our nation as does the entire world.

The author, Rick Mathies, is a well known leader in prison ministry.  The man who walks with God always gets to his destination.  If you have a pulse you have a purpose.

The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the U.S, especially among the minority races. Not the Catholics, not the Mormons.

Last month, I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance.  During the training there was a presentation by speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and  Muslim faiths, who each explained their beliefs. I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say.

The Muslim gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video. After the
presentation, time was provided for questions and answers. When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: "Please correct me if I am wrong, but I understand that most Imams and  clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy War] against infidels of the world and  that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured  a place in heaven.
If that's the case, can you give me a definition of an infidel?

There was no disagreement with my statements and  without hesitation he replied, "Nonbelievers."

I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?'

The expression on his face changed from one of authority and  command to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.'

He sheepishly....yes"

I then stated, 'well sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine The Pope commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!"  The Imam was speechless.

I continued, 'I also have a problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me! Let me ask you another question.  'Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven & He wants you to be there  with me?'

You could have heard a pin drop. Needless to say, the organizers & promoters of the Diversification training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing with the Islamic Imam and exposing the truth about Muslim beliefs.

In 20 years,, there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S to elect the president.

I think everyone in the U.S should be required to read this but with the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized.

 This is your chance to make a difference

Telling the truth by expressing your intentions clearly and then hopefully doing what you say you will is a new way of conducting foreign affairs. Yes, it may carry higher risks of the listener's unwillingness to believe, however, over time, it can prove a game changing refreshing approach. 

The State Department has bent over backwards seeking to avoid confrontation.  It has resulted in appeasement which creates greater future risks.This approach has seldom proven wise.

Good for Trump and Tillerson taking a common sense attitude . It is worth a try.(See 1 below.)

One of my great intellectual and common sense heroes is Thomas Sowell.  By the time I got around to asking him to speak for me he was quite a bit older and was unable to come.

The man is one of America's giant conservative icons. (See 2 below.)
Now that a totally different set of judicial standards has been used thus, allowing New York's de Blasio to escape allegations of corruption, the betting seems to be New York will re-elect this tall disaster of a mayor.

The reasons he was elected in the first place are basically two-fold:

a) New Yorkers chose not to and/or were too lazy to vote so he was able to get elected with a minuscule vote

b) The second, and equally significant reason, is that New Yorkers are born liberal bleeders.They seemingly accept anything allowing them to bleed. They even bled deficits until Giuliani became their mayor. They prefer bleeding victims of murders and shootings because frisking is anti-social and stigmatizing. They bleed for and from whatever happens to be trendy, the urge of the moment not logic dictates many of their decisions and policies. They are prone to try passionate responses rather than practical ones.

Most  New Yorkers consider themselves superior in many ways, some justifiable, and are willing to embrace any intellectual concept lacking a common sense foundation.  de Blasio is probably a Communist disguised as a caring compassionate fool so that qualifies him to run this "menstrual" city. Now that he has been exonerated he considers himself even  further in the "pink."

New York remains both  a mecca of man's insanity and extraordinary imagination. It is the best and worst of mankind's accomplishments. (See 3 and 3a below.)
In honor of St Patrick's Day a bit of Irish humor. (See 4  below.)

Now, let's move to Scotland and beat up on Trump:
Health care costs have risen significantly in America relative to other nations.  Part of he rise is due to a growing and aging population.  Part of the rise is attributable to our desire for new and improved medical equipment and procedures at much higher cost yet the cost benefit is marginal.  Also, crushing rules and senseless regulations from Uncle Sam  add substantially to costs as do consequential legal costs.  Furthermore, when a third party pays it is always easier not to feel responsible.  Finally,  our own health care habits do not help when you see what Americans eat, drive rather than walk and simply do not take care of themselves as they should..
1)Tillerson Tells the Korean Truth

A warning to China that the U.S. wants action against a nuclear North.

Rex Tillerson caused a stir Friday on his first trip to Asia by—are you sitting down?—telling the truth about North Korea and China. The Secretary of State may be a rookie diplomat, but he can’t do any worse on North Korea than his recent predecessors in both political parties have.
“Let me be very clear: The policy of strategic patience has ended,” Mr. Tillerson said, referring to the Obama Administration policy of waiting for North Korea to give up its nuclear ambitions or collapse. A day earlier he criticized “20 years” of a “failed approach” to the North’s nuclear ambitions.
He’s right about the failure. Going back to Bill Clinton and diplomat Robert Gallucci’s Agreed Framework in 1994, three American administrations have sought to bribe Pyongyang into giving up its nuclear program and coax China to help. They engaged in years of multi-government talks and offered cash or other concessions for North Korean promises that it never fulfilled.
President George W. Bush even took North Korea off the list of terror-sponsoring states after the North tested its first nuclear weapon in 2006. And even as it came to light that Pyongyang had helped Syria build the beginnings of a nuclear program. Bush-era diplomats Condoleezza Rice and Christopher Hill have a lot to answer for after they persuaded President Bush to give up a pressure campaign against the North that was showing signs of success.
President Obama tried to coax the North with a similar invitation, but by then the Kim family regime had decided to build a nuclear-weapons stockpile along with the missiles to deliver them. That’s when Mr. Obama settled on the “strategic patience” doctrine that has now left the North close to achieving the ability to destroy Seoul, Tokyo or Seattle.
All of this has been dumped in the lap of the Trump Administration, which has to figure out a way to stop the North’s progress or accept a new existential threat to America’s homeland. That’s the story behind Mr. Tillerson’s language, which seems aimed at both the North and its political patrons in Beijing.
Mr. Tillerson noted that China has been punishing South Korea economically because Seoul is deploying America’s Thaad missile-defense system. “This is not the way for a regional power to help resolve what is a serious threat to everyone,” he said, referring to China. “We instead urge China to address the threat that makes Thaad necessary.”
He added that no U.S. tools are off the table to defend itself and its allies—implicitly including military force. And he said that if China can’t stop North Korea, then further nuclearization is possible in the region. Far from being reckless, this merely recognizes that a Pyongyang regime with nuclear-tipped missiles may drive the voting public in South Korea and Japan to support their own nuclear deterrent rather than rely as they do now on the U.S.
None of this is cheery stuff, but Mr. Tillerson’s candor is appropriate for the threat and the moment. He and President Trump are trying to persuade China that the new Administration is serious about stopping the North before it could explode a nuclear weapon over U.S. territory. China has ignored U.S. pleas in the past, so the test will be getting Beijing to believe the new Administration isn’t bluffing.
The White House has several options, such as barring Chinese companies that do business with the North from the U.S. financial system and shooting down the North’s next missile launch. The starting point is recognizing that the world needs to change its failed strategy, and good for Mr. Tillerson for saying so.
2)The Education of an American Sage

Thomas Sowell discusses his own rise from poverty and the country’s ‘degeneration’ into ‘grievance culture.’

Thomas Sowell is sitting in my chair. He’d driven in to Stanford University from his home 50 miles away, and since he’s 86 years old, the least I could do was to let him choose between the two seats in my office. So he parks behind my desk on the lovely chair that swivels, and I face him, hunched and immobile, on the other side—a fitting way to interview one of America’s great sages.
This feels like the perfect time to ask Mr. Sowell to ruminate on the things that have mattered most to him. He’d announced, at the end of 2016, that he would give up the newspaper column he’d written for Creators Syndicate for more than 25 years, a retirement that suggested the end of an era. Before that Mr. Sowell, an economist and conservative, had written columns for another news service, Scripps-Howard, but had quit after an editor changed a line about carbon monoxide emissions to read as one about “carbon dioxide.” This caused an indignant Mr. Sowell to terminate his contract—perhaps the original source of his fearsome reputation among editors. (When I, as an editor for this page, was handed a Thomas Sowell piece to work on back in 2001, my boss whispered to me: “Careful, it’s Sowell. Don’t change anything.”)
Thomas Sowell was born into poverty in North Carolina, in 1930. At age 9, he moved with his mother to Harlem, in New York, to live with relatives who promised a better life for the boy. There he visited a library for the first time, and though he’s not entirely sure, he thinks the first books he borrowed from this “wondrous” institution were “The Story of Doctor Dolittle” and “Alice in Wonderland.”
A family friend called Eddie—a boy roughly Mr. Sowell’s age—had taken it upon himself to help the callow little Southerner navigate his new metropolitan minefields. “I was assigned to a junior high school in a really very bad part of Harlem, and Eddie told me, ‘You don’t have to go there. You can ask to be sent to a different school.’ That’s what he’d done. And then I followed him to Stuyvesant”—a selective high school for smart kids. “He led me. If you take Eddie out of my life, there’s virtually no way I could have followed the same path that I did.”

Having dodged a calamitous education solely on the advice of a worldly child, it isn’t surprising that Mr. Sowell—who went on to earn degrees from Harvard, Columbia and the University of Chicago before teaching at some of the country’s finest universities—has had a lifelong distaste for the “ideologues” who have come to run America’s schools.
The nomination of Betsy DeVos as education secretary, and the possibility of promoting charter schools nationwide, so energized Mr. Sowell that he “briefly came out of retirement to write two columns in support—because I thought that this is a moment that might not come again in our lifetime, and I mean even the younger people’s lifetime. If we lose it now, we may have lost it forever.”
Mr. Sowell has what he calls “my reservations” about Donald Trump, but he gives the president credit for being “the first Republican who’s made any serious attempt to get the black vote by addressing problems that affect most blacks who are trying to do the right thing—such as education, which is such low-hanging fruit.” Republicans have “no reason whatever to be worried about teachers unions, because the teachers unions aren’t going to vote for them anyway,” he says. “They’re spending millions of dollars trying to get Democrats elected.”
But the good that can be done is obvious to Mr. Sowell. “The most successful schools for educating black kids have been a few charter schools,” he says. “There are literally tens of thousands of kids on waiting lists for charter schools in New York alone. You needed somebody who was going to fight to break through these caps that have been put on the number of charter schools.”
Mr. Sowell has stopped swiveling in my chair, and he looks straight at me to make his next point. “You see, in order to get these reforms, you would have to go against the dogmas not only of educators, but of the American intelligentsia in general,” he says. “The teachers unions complain that charter schools really have skimmed off the cream. Of course that’s nonsense, because people are chosen by lottery. In another sense, there’s a point there, because these are the parents who care about what’s going to happen to their kids. These people are just desperate to get into the charter schools. They don’t want to be raising a bunch of little thugs.”
If a Republican could manage to enact school choice, Mr. Sowell says, “he would have some hope of beginning the process of peeling away black votes from the Democrats. It doesn’t have to be a majority of the black vote. If there’s a narrow race for Congress, and you can reduce the black support for the Democrats from 90% to 80%, that could be the difference.”
How has America changed over Mr. Sowell’s lifetime? “Oh my God,” he responds, “that is truly a depressing subject.” He laments the “huge degeneration” and what he sees as the spread of “the grievance culture to low-income whites—and even to places like Great Britain.”
An idea has taken root “that you’re entitled to certain things, that you don’t necessarily have to earn them,” he says. “There’s a belief that something’s wrong if you don’t have what other people have—that it’s because you’re ‘disadvantaged.’ A teenage dropout mother is told she has a disadvantage. But if you’re going to call the negative consequences of chosen behavior ‘disadvantage,’ the word is corrupt beyond repair and useful only for propaganda purposes.”
Has there been any change for the better? “Oh, yes, yes, yes,” he says. “In fact, for blacks who have education and who have not succumbed to a new lifestyle—the grievances, and the coarseness represented by rap music—it’s gotten tremendously better. What’s disheartening, though, is that when you study ethnic groups around the world, the ones that are lagging behind are those where their leaders always tell the same story: that it’s other people holding you back, and that therefore you need to stand against those other people and resist their culture. But that culture may be the key to success.”
Here Mr. Sowell pivots to 18th-century Scotland and the philosopher David Hume: “Hume urged Scots to learn the English language,” he says. “He didn’t do that because his job was that of an ethnic leader. He did it because he was an intellectual.” Yet it helped bring progress to his homeland. “One of the most miraculous advances of a people occurred in Scotland from the 18th century into the 19th,” Mr. Sowell says. “A wholly disproportionate share of the leading British thinkers was Scottish. I mean Adam Smith in economics, Hume in philosophy, Sir Walter Scott in literature, James Watt in engineering. You can run through the whole list. A people who were really far behind in one century had suddenly come out of nowhere and were on the forefront of human progress.”
Could black Americans one day be like the Scots? “They can be,” says Mr. Sowell, “and for those who haven’t gotten into this corrosive new culture, they’re already doing that. But it’s going to be very hard. Both the media and academia promote the idea that people fall behind because others are holding them back.”
I ask Mr. Sowell to talk about some of the public figures he’s admired: “Oh, Milton Friedman, certainly. He was one of the few people I know who had both genius and common sense.” (Friedman, who died in 2006, was Mr. Sowell’s colleague at the Hoover Institution, where I also work.)
Growing up, Mr. Sowell admired Joe DiMaggio, Joe Louis and Franklin D. Roosevelt. Later, he says, he “realized what tremendous damage FDR had done. But I think two out of three is not bad!”
I press him on the sportsmen, wondering how they came to be the idols of a cerebral economist. He talks with visible awe of DiMaggio. “There’s a famous moment in the World Series—1947—between the Yankees and the Dodgers. The Dodgers are leading. Joe DiMaggio comes up with runners on the base, and he hits a blast, 415 feet to left field. The Dodgers outfielder catches right up against the 415-foot sign. If that had been a home run, that would have put the Yankees ahead.
“DiMaggio by this time is rounding second base. He gives a little kick of the dust and goes on back in. That was the biggest outburst there had been from DiMaggio in his career. It wasn’t that violent a kick, just enough to barely raise a little dust. I still remember that self-control all these years later.”
And Joe Louis? “He was a gentleman, who carried himself in a certain way that inspired respect. I’m not a big fan of the role model thing, but it has its effect.”
Mr. Sowell recalls a time when he was “quite young, maybe 5 years old, down in North Carolina.” One day, a kid told him that he had “some big secret down in his basement that he wanted to show me. I said, ‘What’s down there?’ and he said, ‘Just go down in the basement, you’ll see.’ He had me go down first—which I shouldn’t have done, but I did, and he ran back upstairs, closed the door, and locked me in that pitch-black basement.”
The furious young Tom pushed and kicked at the door, and forced it open. “I think I was angrier than I ever had been—that I’d ever been before or since. He was standing there and I came at him and just hit him as hard as I could. The punch must have landed just right, because he went down and out. He was prone on the ground, limp as a dishrag. and I was going to hit him again. I could have killed him. But something stopped me, a thought in my head.
“ ‘Joe Louis wouldn’t do that,’ I said to myself.”
Mr. Varadarajan is a fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution.
3) The De Blasio Standard

New York’s mayor gets off the hook for behavior progressives denounce on the right.

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio speaks during a news conference in New York City, Feb. 28.
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio speaks during a news conference in New York City, Feb. 28. PHOTO: REUTERS
Prosecutors on Thursday smoothed New York Mayor Bill de Blasio’s path to re-election 
this year by publicly exonerating him of misconduct. The mayor is lucky that prosecutors 
didn’t apply to him the same standards that he and his fellow progressives routinely apply
 to conservatives.
Acting U.S. Attorney Joon Kim said in a statement that federal prosecutors won’t bring 
criminal charges after investigating the mayor and associates who solicited donations for 
his 2013 campaign and the now defunct nonprofit Campaign for One New York. The latter siphoned contributions from individuals and unions with business before the city—what 
liberals call “dark money”—into political advocacy.
One inquiry centered on a deputy city commissioner who lifted deed restrictions on a 
former AIDS nursing home, which allowed a company with ties to one of Mr. de Blasio’s
 patrons to sell the property to a luxury condo developer at a $72 million profit. Mr. Kim 
said prosecutors were unable to prove criminal intent given the “high burden of proof” and
 “clarity of existing law.”
Last year the Supreme Court tossed former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell’s 
corruption conviction, holding that the “basic compact underlying representative 
government assumes that public officials will hear from their constituents and act 
appropriately on their concerns.” Whether or not Mr. de Blasio offered a quid pro quo 
under the McDonnell standard, he was willing to give donors the impression that he 
would do what he could to help.
The Manhattan District Attorney has also been investigating allegations that the mayor
evaded state contribution limits. In 2014 Mr. de Blasio and his associates—some of whom
took leaves of absence from City Hall—devised a “coordinated campaign plan” that
steered donations through county committees to state Senate candidates. They did this
because union contribution limits for county committees were 10 times higher than for candidates.District Attorney Cyrus Vance Jr. explained in a letter that the mayor’s
coordinated campaign “creates an end run” around contribution limits and appears
“contrary to the intent and spirit of the law.” But the DA could not prove mens rea—a
guilty mind—since an election lawyer had approved the run-around.
All of this underscores the double standard of progressives who complain that the
Supreme Court’s 2010 Citizens United decision has allowed corporations to skirt
contribution limits. Also recall how Milwaukee’s District Attorney was exalted for
harassing Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker’s supporters based on dubious claims of illegal
campaign coordination that were never proven and rejected by the courts.
While prosecutors were right to base their judgments on the evidence and law, they
violated legal decorum with public exonerations that will help Mr. de Blasio politically.
“Although it is rare that we issue a public statement about the status of an investigation,
we believe it is appropriate in this case at this time, in order not to unduly influence the
upcoming campaign and Mayoral election,” noted Mr. Kim, who seems to have adopted
FBI Director Jim Comey’s new standard of disclosure.
The next time Senator Elizabeth Warren howls about conservative “shadow groups,”
will Mr. de Blasio ride to their defense?

3a) New York’s Investigated Mayor 

Gets Away Scot-Free

Bill de Blasio seems destined for re-election now that prosecutors 

say he won’t be charged.

Blasio seems destined for re-election now that prosecutors say he won’t be charged.

The mayor at New York City Hall, March 16.
The mayor at New York City Hall, March 16. PHOTO: REUTERS
Bill de Blasio could hardly be blamed if he celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with
a few cold ones and a long sigh of relief. This week showed New York’s
mayor to be one lucky leprechaun.
With re-election coming this November, Mr. de Blasio had faced a litany of
inquiries, both state and federal, into his past political fundraising. Did the
mayor and his cohorts violate election law by funneling hundreds of
thousands of dollars through upstate county committees? Did he trade
government favors for donations to his now-defunct nonprofit? Manhattan’s U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara—a prosecutor with a reputation for taking down politicians
on corruption charges—seemed to be circling Mr. de Blasio.

All that has changed. Mr. Bharara is now unemployed, fired by President Trump last week after refusing to resign. Then on Thursday federal and state prosecutors announced that they
wouldn’t charge Mr. de Blasio after all. A statement from Mr. Bharara’s successor, the
acting U.S. attorney, cited the “totality of the circumstances here.” A longer letter from the Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus Vance Jr., noted that the campaign activity appeared
“contrary to the intent and spirit of the laws” but said that under state law “the parties
involved cannot be appropriately prosecuted.”
Mayor de Blasio has insisted all along that there was nothing to see here: “We did
everything right,” he told a local TV station at the end of January. “My team did
everything right. I did everything to abide by the law and comport ourselves in an ethical
fashion.” Still, it’s hard not to raise an eyebrow at the details.
Mr. de Blasio’s nonprofit, Campaign for One New York, essentially supported his pet
projects, like eliminating income inequality, creating universal prekindergarten, building affordable housing, tackling police brutality, and getting horse-drawn carriages full of
Central Park sightseers off city streets. (The animal-rights group Nyclass came out heavily
 against Mr. de Blasio’s rival in the 2013 mayoral race.) Hizzoner raised $4.3 million for
 the nonprofit before shutting it down last year, saying it had done its job. A serious
question, though, is why it donors were largely people and groups with some sort of
business or special interest before the city.
Perhaps the shadiest was a special deal to lift deed restrictions on a Lower East Side
nursing home, thereby allowing its owners to make a $72 million profit by selling the
building, which will now be turned into luxury condos. The deed-change was heavily
backed by a local of the Service Employees International Union, which conveniently
heavily backed Mr. de Blasio for mayor. There’s also a lobbyist who worked for the
company that bought the building and had raised funds for the mayor and donated
$10,000 to the Campaign for One New York. But everyone, of course, denies everything.
The SEIU says it didn’t know the building would be sold. Mr. de Blasio says he found
out about the deal from the news.
While the investigations were going on, Mayor de Blasio tried to shore up his cred with
national progressives. Hours after being interviewed by Mr. Bharara last month, the
mayor jetted to the Democratic National Committee’s winter meeting in Atlanta. His
welcome was chilly. “They’re not happy he’s here,” one Democratic source told the New
York Post. Nothing quite sticks out like a 6-foot-5 man standing alone at a party with
people who don’t care a whit about him.
Now that the prosecutors have backed off, this year’s mayoral campaign may turn out to
be pretty conventional—meaning Mr. de Blasio seems destined to win. Still, a strong
challenger would have plenty of ammunition: gross mismanagement of the city’s
Administration for Children’s Services, numbers of homeless that never seem to square
when Mr. de Blasio gives figures for those to whom his government is providing shelter.
There are also the little things—for instance, time. In 2015, the mayor missed half of the
St. Patrick’s Day parade in Queens because he didn’t show up soon enough.
(He explained that there had been “some stuff we had to deal with.”) The year before that
he was so late to a morning memorial service for a 2001 airliner crash that he missed the
moment of silence. (He’d had a “very rough night, woke up sluggish.”) Then Mr. de
Blasio’s tardiness to board a commercial flight out of JFK Airport left an entire planeload
of passengers waiting 20 minutes.
There’s a maxim that a person who can’t do the small things well shouldn’t be trusted
with the big things either. It’s a timeworn truth that Mayor de Blasio has worked hard to
fulfill since taking the city’s reins in 2014. But no heavy hitter has stepped up to challenge
 his re-election. If New York can’t come up with better mayoral competition in the next
few months, we’ll soon watch Mr. de Blasio’s second inauguration—provided that the
mayor shows up in time to take the oath.
Ms. Maldonado is a member of the New York Post’s editorial board.

44)  Only the Irish have Stories Like These
Into a Belfast pub 
comes Paddy Murphy, 
Looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,
His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp
What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. 
Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. 
That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, 
"He couldn't do that to you,
He must have had something in his hand."
That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, 
And a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, 
Didn't you have something in your hand?"
hat I did," said Paddy. 
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
Beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, 
When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. 
But where's my husband?"
That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." 
I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus 
Is dead and gone.
 I'm sorry. 
inally, she looked up at Tim. 
"How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat 
Of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. 
Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, 
He got out three times to pee!"

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after 
His Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
e says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" 
he says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. 
My husband passed away last night."
he priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. 
Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
he says, "That he did, Father." 
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
he says, He said, 
'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, 
Enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
he Priest coughs a few times to get his 
Attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
he drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, 
there's no paper on this side either!!!!!"

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