Hillary Parody. The Gathering Storm. Trump Takes Candy From Children. "Barbitchuate." Kim: FBI Needs Surgery To Remove A Blockage.

It is a goose and gander thing. (See 1 below.)

And

Hilarious Trump Christmas Parody “It’s The Most Wonderful Time in 8 Years” - Dana Kamide - YouTube

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Did Franken and Conyers become sacrificial lambs in order to prevent investigations of more abuse by Democrats?  Best defense is an offense. (See 2 and 2a below.)

There is a great movie coming out about Churchill and "The Gathering Storm" he faced from Germany, Hitler and the Nazis.  Trump is facing a similar storm from Democrats, anti-Trumpers and American styled fascism..

Churchill overcame and I suspect Trump will as well.

Like him or not, Trump is a master at taking the mistakes of his opposition, highlighting them and reversing them.  Mueller allowed , through appointments, to appear to have politicized what was to be an unbiased investigation.  Now Mueller is looking pathetic, the FBI and Attorney General's Department's reputation are down around their ankles where the mass media has been for years.

Kim suggests The FBI needs surgery to remove a blockage.(See 2b below.)
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As expected, the Palestinians, like a petulant child, are rioting because Trump took away their candy.

The  riots will continue, fanned by mass media reporting and U.N  meddling but eventually the PLO will lose as they always do and even their own Arab/Muslim brothers will soon drop them like a hot falaffel.  (See 3 below.)
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A story about a "Barbitchuate." (See 4 below.)
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Dick
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1)

GOP Lawmakers Press for Investigation of FBI’s ‘Special Treatment’ of Hillary Clinton Probe

Conservatives are calling for an investigation of what they say was the FBI’s “special treatment” of Hillary Clinton ahead of the Dec. 7 testimony of FBI Director Christopher Wray before the House Judiciary Committee.

“I am proud to be joined by my fellow conservatives in the House to call for an investigation into the FBI’s procedures that allowed Hillary Clinton to receive special treatment,” Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Fla., said at a press conference Wednesday. “We’ll also investigate the unprecedented bias against President [Donald] Trump that exists when we allow people who hate the president to participate in the investigations against him.”

Gaetz, who was joined at the press conference by Reps. Jody Hice, R-Ga.; Jim Jordan, R-Ohio; Andy Biggs, R-Ariz.; Scott Perry, R-Pa.; and Mark Meadows, R-N.C., called for an investigation into the FBI’s treatment of Clinton’s email use. The FBI investigation was deemed as “special,” according to FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe.

“Each day, we learn more information that reflects the double standard that, unfortunately, seems to be pervasive at the FBI and at the Department of Justice,” Gaetz said. A “small team” at FBI headquarters was assigned to conduct the Clinton investigation, according to emails released from McCabe, he noted.

On Nov. 15, documents were released that show McCabe “wrote an email on his official government account stating that the Hillary Clinton email probe had been given ‘special’ status,” The Hill reported.

During Clinton’s tenure at the State Department from 2009 to 2013, she used a private email account and server while conducting State Department business.

“For me, this question is why,” Perry said at the press conference. “Why are there two different standards of justice? Why doesn’t the FBI and the Justice Department have to comply with subpoenas by the Congress for information that the American people need to have and should have and should have access to? Why is that happening?”

Hice said justice has not been impartial toward Clinton.

“This is all about, ultimately, whether or not Lady Justice is still blindfolded, and whether or not she is peeking out from underneath to show favoritism with certain individuals,” the Georgia lawmaker said. “The more we hear about how the FBI handled the investigations involving Hillary Clinton, the more we understand that she received special treatment, and that is unacceptable.”

Lady Justice wears a blindfold–and no American, regardless of wealth or political status, should be given a free pass under the law.

From then-Attorney General Loretta Lynch secretly meeting with former President Bill Clinton on an airport tarmac on June 27, 2016, to the description of how Hillary Clinton handled classified information being downgraded from “grossly negligent” to “extremely careless,” Hice said, there are many questions with no answers.

“[T]he FBI’s process and procedures that allow this type of activity to occur must come to an end. We must have justice at this point, and at the same time, we must make sure that this type of favoritism never occurs again,” he said.  

Additional concerns of the lawmakers are outlined in a letter, dated Nov. 28, to Wray signed by Gaetz, along with Biggs and Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas. Those concerns include questions with respect to why then-FBI Director James Comey moved Clinton’s investigation from the FBI’s Washington field office to a “small team,” and why Lynch asked Comey to refer to Clinton’s case as a “matter,” rather than an “investigation.”

Meadows, the chairman of the conservative House Freedom Caucus, called on Attorney General Jeff Sessions to get involved in the investigation.

“It is time that we get to the bottom of it, and I call on Attorney General Sessions. It is time for him to show the type of leadership to make sure the American people get the answers they deserve, because we can not allow the highest law enforcement agency in the land to actually be in a situation where they allow partisanship to determine who is actually not only guilty or innocent, but certainly we can’t allow it to happen when indeed it should be a nonpartisan, nonbiased way,” Meadows said.

Lawmakers say they want answers from Wray, who will be testifying before the House Judiciary Committee for the first time as FBI chief on Thursday.

“Tomorrow, FBI Director Christopher Wray will testify before the Judiciary Committee, and we want answers as to how we can reform our systems and practices, so that no one gets special treatment and no one is subjected to any special bias,” Gaetz said.

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2)  Conyers and Franken resignations: A Democrat bait-and-switch cover-up strategy

By Keith Edwards

It looks like the Democrats are executing a multi-faceted four-prong bait-and-switch cover-up strategy to deal with the sex scandals of both Rep. John Conyers and Sen. Al Franken – and the Clintons.

First, Rep. Conyers and Sen. Franken’s resignations are a clear signal to the drive-by media to immediately stop any and all investigations and reporting by accusers and alleged victims of both Rep. Conyers and Se. Franken. Essentially, the Democrats are directing the drive-by media to focus entirely on Republican Senate candidate Judge Roy Moore’s alleged sexual misconduct and President Trump’s endorsement of his candidacy.

Second, Democrats want to send a message to the public that they have zero tolerance for sexual misconduct by any elected representatives - regardless of party affiliation or whether the misconduct was perpetrated before or after they were elected. The media will do their part in messaging and extol the Democrat Party brand as the moral authority when it comes to women’s rights - especially when it comes to sexual misconduct against women. Republicans, on the other hand, will be branded by Democrats and the drive-by media as the “war on women” party that embraces sexual misconduct by its members against women. The drive-by media will pound this narrative 24/7 from now through both the 2018 and 2020 elections.

Third, and probably most importantly, Democrats want to make sure there are never any congressional ethics investigations of sitting Democrat representatives involving sexual misconduct. The Democrats do not want any further evidence or accusers to come to light during an investigation – and especially evidence that may lead to other hidden sexual misconduct by Democrats. Democrats know the drive-by media would have to cover any ethics investigations; which would not serve them well going into the 2018-20 elections.

The fourth part of the Democrat strategy is on a more personal level for both Rep. Conyers and Sen. Franken. It is highly plausible that the Democrat powers that be could almost guarantee both Rep. Conyers and Sen. Franken that they will never be held accountable for their actions – either by a Congressional ethics Committee or by a civil legal action. It’s a pretty sure thing that the “enforcement” arm of the Democrat Party will do whatever needs to be done to keep all of their accusers out of the public eye and out of court.

Finally, what sets Judge Roy Moore’s situation apart from both Rep. Conyers and Sen. Franken is that the people of Alabama, not the media, political pundits, the U.S. Congress or the President of the United States, will decide if Roy Moore qualifies to be a U.S. Senator or not. The people of Minnesota and the 13th congressional district of Michigan did not have an opportunity to judge Sen. Franken and Rep. Conyers with respect to their alleged sexual misconduct. In which case, both Sen. Franken and Rep. Conyers had to deal with their alleged sexual misconduct within the confines of Congressional rules, politics and unfortunately, public opinion. In Judge Moore’s case, the people will make the final decision.

By the way, this was also the case with then candidate Donald Trump. Amid allegations of sexual misconduct by Mr. Trump, the people of America got to decide whether he was qualified to be president of the United States or not. And the people, not Democrats or the drive-by media, made that decision.

If the Republicans can get their act together and successfully communicate to the public that the Democrats and the drive-by media are colluding to pull off one of the biggest political bait-and-switch cover-ups in history, they may be able to flank both the Democrats and the drive-by media cause serious political damage regarding this issue in the 2018-20 elections.

2a) A Time for War: The Gathering Storm

By David Prentice

Most everyone entrenched on both sides of this cold civil war feels it coming.  The thunder and lightning have been getting closer.   For the better part of a year, we’ve been listening to the noise getting louder, and the flashes, good Lord, sometimes they get brighter by the minute.   Many think the storm started on Nov. 9, 2016.  Whichever, we all feel it.

This past weekend was a perfect example.  Brian Ross starts a series of false reports, so bad that the stock market dives, the leftist media breathlessly reports that President Trump is finished, and do their version of a happy dance.  Except, the report was not true, the networks once again proved to be unworthy sources of news, just repeating a false narrative.  

Then the tax plan surprisingly passed the Senate.   The left, as usual, had a collective hissy fit, droning on about how lost we are as a country.  Oh, the horror!  Tax cuts!!  We’re doomed!!!  Doomed they say!!!!  For the first time in decades the Democratic Party is pretending to be concerned about our debt. 

Yes, the storm is close.  Special Counsel Robert Mueller has a new scalp; General Michael Flynn pleads guilty of lying to the FBI.   The story has been reported quite poorly, very few understand what Flynn actually cut a deal for.  There are various theories, but let me say this:  All is not as it seems.   We won’t likely know until next year at earliest what is actually going on.  Andrew McCarthy’s article in National Review last week explained things as well as possible, but truth be known, very little is anything but fog right now.  The fog of war.

Storms.  Good metaphors for this time we are immersed in.   And for one long year, and the year before that, we have been overwhelmed by the left’s attempts to call down the storm on our heads.    They have collectively decided they are the weather experts, the forecasters, and the originators of storms.  They think they can say anything they want, say any particular detail is what they want it to be, and unbelievably think they control the news of storms, along with the storms themselves.  They have thought they could generate a storm intense enough, long enough, and do so with unlimited power to continue like this as long as they want.  And yes, “they,” is the leftist-controlled Democrat/media complex/Deep State.  Their sense of entitlement, their arrogance, their terrible lack of character, and their firm belief in their self-righteous right to “resist” has served them, and most of us, poorly, for years.

From what I see, with all of this whipped up frenzied fear from our storm front leftists (oh, they’re not going to like that phrase), there is not much of a dent in their target.  No, Donald Trump has not been touched.  As a matter of fact, it’s pretty clear he’s winning.  So much is going well.   I want to explain something the left does not understand.    Trump knows the storm.  Trump welcomes the storm.  Trump uses the storm.

Let me digress before coming back to that.  If you had told me the list of what he’s accomplished in his first year, two years ago, I would have said you were delusional.    If you had told me the left would have become totally unhinged, to the point where they make fools of themselves daily, spinning furiously about how Vladimir Putin controls Trump, I would have said you were daft.   If you had told me the left would never accept their loss, I would have laughed. 

If you had told me we would already be experiencing 3%+ growth, close to 25% increase in the stock market, that we’d be out of the Paris Climate Accords, becoming energy independent, had a great replacement for former Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia while remaking the judiciary, getting tax cuts, voting out the Obamacare mandate, remaking the Middle East, that China would help us with Rocket Man, that illegal immigration would be cut by 75% to the lowest level in some 42 years (and that  without the wall), that Trump would have driven the media to commit institutional  suicide daily, all the while the left pulls its hair out on an hourly basis, I would have said you’re a little torched.  Trust me, this is almost miraculous.

Because this has all been accomplished in the midst of the biggest political maelstrom most of us have witnessed.  Nothing is comparable. 

My question to everyone is, how in the hell is Trump doing this?  How has he made so much happen, how has he accomplished all this (and more) while being simultaneously resisted by the left, some in his own party, and the entrenched bureaucracy and power we call the Deep State?

This is not a digression, so please follow if you would.

The art of building is an underestimated skill.   It requires a combination of deep intelligence, blue collar toughness, a mind capable of great focus and flexibility.   Walking onto a construction site is like walking into a washing machine.  Everything is moving; machines, people, tools, and lots of noise.  Lots of noise.  All being driven to a finish line of time, money, and hopefully the integrity of a job that will endure.  It’s the Wild West of being in business, and you’d better be prepared to live your life in a storm that doesn’t stop until each project is complete.  After which you are fired.  Well, not really, but you are terminated with your final payment, and if you’re good, you get to start another job all over again because you won a bid against other companies that want the same job.   The storm never ends.

Perhaps you think I’m exaggerating here, that every business is hard.  Before saying that, visit a construction site, any site, while it’s at work, and you’ll experience what I’m saying.  People barking instructions, moving materials, mini assembly lines, watching multiple groups working in different cycles toward a finished project.  You may have heard the saying “tornado in a junk yard”.  Well, that’s an apt description of most successful building projects, from the small, to the very large.  It’s teeming with life, that pushes on towards the goal of fulfilling its contract on time and on budget.  If it doesn’t, very few can stay in business for one more day.

It’s a storm that invigorates you to succeed, or drives you to fail.  You push, you press to figure out the process and master it.    Or go home.  Donald Trump loved this process early on. It was his early training, it was what molded his outlook, it was what tested him.  His life was a storm.  He used the storm of New York building to vault his company to the top of the heap.  He used the storm while building nationwide, and worldwide to propel it even further.

This is a man whose whole life has been lived within storms.  He thrives on them, welcomes them, and uses them to achieve his goals. 

It’s clear Trump’s political career is following the same course.  Whoever tries to engulf him within a storm loses.  The left has been calling on storm after storm, and they are still losing.  They don’t get it yet.  Return to that list of accomplishments cited earlier.  He is implementing his promises one at a time, the whole time the left conjures multiple deluges, dark ones, like the witches in Shakespeare’s Macbeth.

It’s amazing to watch.

A lot of negativity from the right is spilling over about what is happening with the Mueller Investigation right now.  Hannity, Rush, Tucker, even a #nevertrumper or two, literally everyone on the right is outraged, and with a lot of good reason. 

Sean Hannity et al, let me give you a hint:  “Let not your heart not be troubled.”

All the really bad stuff that is happening is happening to those who are conjuring the storm onto Trump, and not so much the other way.   This guy Strzok?   He has destroyed himself, his credibility, and his career.  Along with his FBI honeypot.  It appears that Andrew Weissman has done the same thing.  Look at James Comey.  He’s losing.  Andrew McCabe is as well.  The FBI will be purged. The Clintons have lost their power.  They are no more than a corrupt, ugly footnote to history.  No power, with little future.  Trump has some scrapes, he doesn’t mind.

If Mueller is actually doing his worst deed ever, trying to process crime Donald Trump to death over the dumbest political narrative ever, a.k.a. Russia, Russia, Russia, he will be destroyed.  I am not convinced that’s what he’s actually doing, In spite of all the thunder and lightning.  But if he does, he will destroy himself as the others have done.  It will simply not fly.

Now, I don’t want to make Trump into a figure of worship.  I don’t.  This is a wild ride, and not everything is pretty, and not everything is wonderful.  But it is amazing how far we’ve come in less than a year.  For all the caterwauling, it’s been incredible. Not to mention, Trump is very funny, and he has an unusual gift of genius that goes well beyond his life as a builder. I don’t know where this will end, but I’m proud to have joined the Trump train early, and proud to fight with him. 

Every.  Day.

So far, he is the master of the storm.  I anticipate nothing less in the next years.

2b)Obstruction of Congress

Mueller, the Justice Department and the FBI aren’t helping the lawmakers’ probe.

By Kimberley A. Strassel

The media echo chamber spent the week speculating about whether Special Counsel Robert Mueller can or will nab President Trump on obstruction-of-justice charges. All the while it continues to ignore Washington’s most obvious obstruction—the coordinated effort to thwart congressional probes of the role law enforcement played in the 2016 election.

The news that senior FBI agent Peter Strzok exchanged anti-Trump, pro-Hillary text messages with another FBI official matters—though we’ve yet to see the content. The bigger scandal is that the Justice Department, the Federal Bureau of Investigation and Mr. Mueller have known about those texts for months and deliberately kept their existence from Congress. The House Intelligence Committee sent document subpoenas and demanded an interview with Mr. Strzok. The Justice Department dodged, and then leaked.

The department also withheld from Congress that another top official, Associate Deputy Attorney General Bruce Ohr, was in contact with ex-spook Christopher Steele and the opposition-research firm Fusion GPS. It has refused to say what role the Steele dossier—Clinton-commissioned oppo research—played in its Trump investigation. It won’t turn over files about its wiretapping.

And Mr. Mueller—who is well aware the House is probing all this, and considered the Strzok texts relevant enough to earn the agent a demotion—nonetheless did not inform Congress about the matter. Why? Perhaps Mr. Mueller feels he’s above being bothered with any other investigation. Or perhaps his team is covering for the FBI and the Justice Department.

When Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein appointed Mr. Mueller, he stressed that he wanted a probe with “independence from the normal chain of command.” Yet the Mueller team is made up of the same commanders who were previously running the Trump show at the Justice Department and the FBI, and hardly distant from their old office.

Andrew Weissmann, Mr. Mueller’s deputy, is chief of the Justice Department’s criminal fraud section and was once FBI general counsel. Until Mr. Strzok’s demotion, he was a top FBI counterintelligence officer, lead on the Trump probe. Michael Dreeben is a deputy solicitor general. Elizabeth Prelogar, Brandon Van Grack, Kyle Freeny, Adam Jed, Andrew Goldstein —every one is a highly placed, influential lawyer on loan from the Justice Department. Lisa Page —Mr. Strzok’s mistress, with whom he exchanged those texts—was on loan from the FBI general counsel’s office.

Does anyone think this crowd intends to investigate Justice Department or FBI misdeeds? To put it another way, does anyone think they intend to investigate themselves? Or that they’d investigate their longtime colleagues— Andrew McCabe, or Mr. Ohr or Mr. Strzok? Or could we instead just acknowledge the Mueller team has enormous personal and institutional interests in justifying the actions their agencies took in 2016—and therefore in stonewalling Congress?

The Strzok texts raise the additional question of whether those interests extend to taking down the president. Mr. Strzok was ejected from Team Mueller for exhibiting anti-Trump, pro-Clinton behavior. By that standard, one has to wonder how Mr. Mueller has any attorneys left.

Judicial Watch this week released an email in which Mr. Weissmann gushed about how “proud and in awe” he was of former acting Attorney General Sally Yates for staging a mutiny against the Trump travel ban. Of 15 publicly identified Mueller lawyers, nine are Democratic donors—including several who gave money to Mrs. Clinton’s 2016 campaign. Jeannie Rhee defended the Clinton Foundation against racketeering charges, and represented Mrs. Clinton personally in the question of her emails. Aaron Zebley represented Justin Cooper, the Clinton aide who helped manage her server. Mr. Goldstein worked for Preet Bharara, whom Mr. Trump fired and who is now a vigorous Trump critic. The question isn’t whether these people are legally allowed (under the Hatch Act) to investigate Mr. Trump—as the left keeps insisting. The question is whether a team of declared Democrats is capable of impartially investigating a Republican president.

Some want Attorney General Jeff Sessions to clean house, although this would require firing a huge number of career Justice Department lawyers. Some want Mr. Trump to fire Mr. Mueller—which would be counterproductive. Some have called for a special counsel to investigate the special counsel, but that way lies infinite regress.

There is a better, more transparent way. Mr. Sessions (or maybe even Mr. Trump) is within rights to create a short-term position for an official whose only job is to ensure Justice Department and FBI compliance with congressional oversight. This person needs to be a straight shooter and versed in law enforcement, but with no history at or substantial ties to the Justice Department or FBI.

It would be a first, but we are in an era of firsts. Congress is the only body with an interest and ability to get the full story of 2016 to the public, thereby ending this drama quickly. But that requires putting an end to the obstruction.

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3)Trump Recognizes That Humiliating Israel Didn’t Bring Peace

The president withstands the howling dismay of the world’s nations to abandon a failed 70-year-old policy.

By Yoram Hazony

For nearly seven decades, the state of Israel has endured an unusual humiliation: Alone among the nations of the world, it has been denied the sovereign right to determine its own capital. Israel has regarded Jerusalem as its capital since its War of Independence in 1948. It is the seat of Israel’s president, prime minister, Knesset (parliament), Supreme Court and most government ministries. Yet for the better part of a century, the U.S. has led what is effectively an international boycott of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital, keeping its embassy in Tel Aviv as part of a fiction that the status of Jerusalem remains undetermined.

The roots of this policy go back to the first half of the 20th century, when European diplomats set their sights on making Jerusalem an “international city”—a kind of second Vatican, controlled by responsible Europeans rather than by Jews or Arabs. When Jewish forces took the western half of the city in 1948, and especially after Jerusalem was united under Israeli rule in 1967, this fantasy of a Euro-Jerusalem disappeared forever. But rather than recognizing Israeli sovereignty, the international community decided to leave Jerusalem’s status for “future negotiations.”

Yet ,now half a century has passed, and still there is nothing but Jewish sovereignty over Jerusalem anywhere in sight. In a dramatic address Wednesday, President Trump brought to an end the fiction that something else is going to happen. “Today we finally acknowledge the obvious,” he said. “Jerusalem is Israel’s capital. This is nothing more or less than a recognition of reality. It is also the right thing to do.”

Mr. Trump is right about this. But he also understands that there is more to it. The dream of rebuilding Jerusalem, destroyed in Roman times, is the linchpin that holds Jewish faith and nationhood together. Three times each day, Jews bless God as Boneh Yerushalaim, “the Builder of Jerusalem.” When Jews read, at every wedding, “If I forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand lose its strength” (Psalm 137:5), we are teaching a subtle truth: We Jews cannot give up on restoring our ancient capital without giving up the source of our strength.

Would we really be giving up on restoring Jerusalem if Israel negotiated a “deal” to share sovereignty in the city? Consider the options: Israel will never agree for Jerusalem to be divided as Berlin was, with mutually hostile police forces on either side of a security barrier. Jerusalem was divided in this way from 1948 to 1967, and anyone who lived through that time of snipers on the city walls knows that such a scheme amounts to destroying Jerusalem, not rebuilding it. The other choice is to govern the city by committee—which would mean that every construction project, excavation, restoration or economic initiative favored by Israel would be subject to an Arab veto (and probably also to a European one). This is a formula for reducing Jerusalem to wretchedness.

For Israelis, then, any conceivable “deal” over Jerusalem does indeed mean giving up on the hope of restoring the only capital we’ve ever had to sanctity and splendor.

Like it or not, this means that foreign powers have to choose—whether to stand by the project of establishing a fully sovereign Jewish state with the right to make Jerusalem its capital, or to limit permanently Israeli sovereignty, while effectively internationalizing Jerusalem under cover of peace talks with the Arab states and the Palestine Liberation Organization.

For 70 years, the U.S. and most other nations have declined to stand with the Jewish people on this, believing that peace would somehow be forthcoming if Israel were humiliated in this way. But this approach has not brought peace. It has only encouraged Israel’s enemies. This week, Mr. Trump announced that America will therefore stand by the Jewish state. All over the world, Jews are saying shehehianu, the traditional blessing thanking God for letting us live to see this day.

We have been warned by enemies and by friends that this historic moment will be met with violence. That is quite possible. Every significant step in the return of the Jews to Israel and Jerusalem since the Balfour Declaration has been met with acts of vengeance. But if this pattern has a clear lesson for us, it is this: If the American administration holds firm, this storm will pass.

Many disparaging things have been said about President Trump’s fitness to lead. But this week, on the issue of Jerusalem, Mr. Trump has withstood the howling dismay of the world’s nations, to perform one of those rare deeds that truly have the potential to change history for the better.

Mr. Hazony is president of the Jerusalem-based Herzl Institute. His book “The Virtue of Nationalism” will be published next year by Basic.

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4)The Divorced Barbie Doll 

Coming towards Christmas a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter asked Santa for a Barbie for Christmas.

He pulls over to a  toy  shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?  We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,  Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It 's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir...Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's  car, Ken's  house, Ken's  boat, Ken's furniture, Ken's  computer, one of Ken's  friends, and a key chain made  with Ken's balls

And

 I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way

much faster now!

 I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it
the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Finally, even duct tape can't fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!

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