Our Oldest Grandson, Henry, Marries, Jessica.

Our oldest grandson was married this weekend in Pasadena, California, to Jessica. and I was asked to make a few comments. (see attached.)

I am Dick Berkowitz, Lisa’s father and Henry’s grandfather My wife, .Lynn and I, are your co hosts and we welcome you and are delighted you came.  

I have prepared a  few remarks and that will surely scare the hell out of my family. For those who are  alert you may notice I moved away from my wife who has been known to kick me under the table.  These comments are really for Jessica because she has about 24 hours to ret-htink.

I was an only child and tomorrow our family will number 30.  I just learned a secret that in August we will be 31 as our 5th great filly will be born.  We are short on mares in our family. The ratio will be 7 to 2.

We also have 7 dogs from several large rescues, to one that probably cost more than the first house my parents bought.  When we take this 6 lb ball of fluff out for a walk we also have to take a bat for fear an eagle will swoop down and carry her away. A granddaughter also has a caged creature and we have been known to dispose of some fish down the toilet.

Our family is unique in many other ways.  No one smokes, even after sex, no one is into drugs, we are productive, charitable, self employed and/ or privately retired.

We live in California, Michigan, Illinois, New York, Kentucky, Florida and Georgia.

We go to great lengths to keep the first cousins in touch with each other and when we get them all together they bond beautifully.

Some of my more generous and aggressive family members are dissatisfied  I don’t own a cell phone.  So, one Chanukah they bought me a monster. I could barely lift  the apparatus and around the following Purim it died from a virus called "vibrating neglect" on my desk. I donated it to the Museum at the anti-Semitic Ivy League university called Harvard, and took a significant illegal tax deduction. I too was graduated by an Ivy League anti-Semitic university and no longer wear clothing in public that identifies this fact. Ben surely is turning over in his grave.

We are a politically schizophrenic family but when we come together at Thanksgiving i disregard the mishagas of the turkeys around the table and we focus on our, now deceased, invited famous New York butcher friend who carved the turkey.  We enjoy playful banter and depart stuffed and in good spirits.

Meanwhile, Henry seldom listens to me. I am the burr beneath his saddle, but fortunately he did listen several years ago when he brought Jessica to Savannah and I remarked we thought he had found a KEEPER.. I also informed  Henry, because of my advanced age, he does not have forever to learn I am always right, and if he listened to my erudite teachings his life would be enriched. 

For those who cannot understand my accent I am referring to Jessica not a yarmalke.

When one of my daughters married into a family that owned a lot of banks, my father, who began his law practice during the depression, was overjoyed.  No doubt the depression flavored his thinking and he remarked every family should have some banks.  He called her his little Rothschild.

Finally, I want to thank Jessica’s family for their courtesy and hospitality.  We are delighted to have another limb added to our Savannah live oak, moss laden family tree. We look forward to their initial visit to Savannah, our beautiful, historic town.

Incidentally, Jessica is not pregnant,  it is our daughter’s daughter who is having their first child in August.

So tomorrow we shall be treated to what will be a beautiful wedding and I propose we wish Henry and Jessica a long and fruitful life together. la Chaim.