Trump gives gift to "Fat Head" as an inducement to meet and get rid of his WMD!
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Just co-incidences? You decide.
What I see are connected alligators in a big, big swamp that will never be drained because alligators live very long lives..(See 1 below.)
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Will Kredo prove to be prophetic?
While The FBI is busy observing Stormy Daniel's "uge" breasts their eyes could be off the ball like in Florida. Time will tell. (See 2 below.)
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Several weeks ago I expressed my market thoughts and there has been a lot of volatility since. For those who read my memos I mentioned I liked the health sector and specifically Merck, because of their lung cancer drug and it has responded nicely at the expense of Bristol Myers' lung cancer drug. I now believe Bristol-Myers is a long term value nibble. BMY has a generally good drug pipeline. I also mentioned ABBVIE looked reasonably priced after the pull back from a disappointing announcement about one of their drugs in development. The stock has stabilized and recovered somewhat. Still a value buy.
OPCO remains a real speculative long shot based on Dr. Frost, the company's Chairman, being able to pull off another winning company development effort as he has done three times in the past.
I also said I liked the energy sector and it has been on fire as the market goes through a rotation to some laggard sectors and the same is true for the commodity sector with modest interest in companies connected to gold, copper and silver.
As for the market, I still see upward earnings momentum but would expect the market would rest after the quarterly earning season has passed.
I still expect good earnings for the rest of the year but improvements will come at a decelerating rate.
Earnings and general stock valuations are not a huge problem but domestically there remains Fed and political risks and beyond our shores we still have trade and Middle East War issues with which the market must contend.
I am constantly berated by several liberal friends for continuing to attack Obama's policies , Clinton's behaviour, while Sec.of State, and the assorted liars in the FBI and other government agencies who have been found to be just that.
I have acknowledged and criticized Trump for his own childish behaviour but I stick with David Hanson's explanation that Trump's nuttiness may drive us crazy but it has been effective and he has been moving the needle in a more favorable direction than his predecessor. The mass media continues to find nothing he does is favorable so if you are reading the Washington Post and New York Times and listening to CNN and the other major broadcasters it is natural that you are getting an uncomplimentary slant
I focus not so much on what Trump says but on what he does and so far I believe that has been the more logical and useful course. Who am I to psychoanalyze? I said from the beginning, Obama was Wilson's "Music Man", he was an empty suit with an ability to smooth talk you. I also expressed my thoughts about how he might have come to some of his misguided and weak thinking but I focused on his actions and policies, and in my opinion, he struck out every time he came to the plate.
I am not writing this to encourage anyone to embrace Trump. Though, I believe it might be wise to be more objective. That is your choice. Nor am I suggesting he is a paragon of virtue. He has about as many faults as any insecure man can have but as long as he executes, and we are better off as a result, I will let his detractors and haters worry and stew because they, most likely, will never give him his day in court. In their eyes he is guilty before the fact.
From my perspective, I believe America is more respected and possibly even feared because our adversaries do not know what Trump is likely to do and that keeps them guessing and he has also done some things that send a needed message - "Sheriff America" is back in town. Trump's bellicosity is generally louder than the actions he takes and his willingness to compromise to get the best deal under difficult inherited circumstances, seems to be his approach. A fair minded person would agree, Trump inherited a mess and has not made it worse and Democrats have done everything they can to throw logs in the way of his stage coach.
As for Obama, he inherited a mess in many respects but I believe it has been proven he made matters worse in almost every aspect and I will not repeat again what I believe they are. You know them if you read my memos.
When it comes to trade, the West allowed China in because we wanted to help their economy grow in the hope they would behave more democratically and be less bellicose. That has proven to be a mistake and Trump is correct to call their hand. The Chinese can count and they know that a 25% tariff versus our 3% levy on cars favors them and we cannot blame them for our stupidity and tolerance to be screwed. Trump is equally correct to complain about the level of the NAFTA playing field and his aggressive verbalization has not been matched by his actions. Jury still out but as with "Fat Head" things are happening that lead me to believe we will get some benefits . Certainly China has told him to cool it because they do not know how Trump would respond to further nuclear pursuits and missile launches.
Yes, our military and it's equipment are worn out and we needed to re-balance. This always happens when Republicans take over from Democrats. That Republicans allowed themselves to be stiffed by Democrats on the budget deal is a mark against the Republicans. They knew they would be blamed for hanging tough and the Democrats knew they could frighten their cowardly opposition.
In this regard I blame Republicans for continuing to act timid and allow deficit spending to soar. They did not have the guts to let Obama's pitiful deficit record stand, they had to compete and for this they deserve nothing by my own feeling of contempt and betrayal. When you become part of the problem about which you complain you lose any respect I might have had.
I believe Trump was correct in getting the economic ball rolling but he did not have to race with the pigs. Yes, he warned not to do it again but, he too, should have stood strong. Sure, he would have become the object of more scorn but it could have been a Harry Truman moment like when he fired "Old scrambled eggs Doug."
I have said what I wanted to say and invite your comments. (See 3 below.)
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An Israel reminds Zuckerberg his bias slip is showing. (See 4 below.)
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Now for some old, mostly Jewish, clean, good humor. (See 5 below.)
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Have a great weekend.
We leave again next Friday but only for three days. Stella turns 6.
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Dick
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1)
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A Grand Jury had been empaneled.
Governments from around the world had donated to the “Charity”.
Yet, from 2001 to 2003 none of those “Donations” to the Clinton Foundation were declared.
Hmmm, now you would think that an honest investigator would be able to figure this out.
Guess who took over this investigation in 2002?
Bet you can’t guess.
No other than James Comey.
Now, that’s interesting, isn’t it?
Guess who was transferred in to the Internal Revenue Service to run the Tax Exemption Branch of the IRS?
Your friend and mine, Lois “Be on The Look Out” (BOLO) Lerner.
Now, that’s interesting, isn’t it?
It gets better, well not really, but this is all just a series of strange coincidences, right?
Guess who ran the Tax Division inside the Department of Injustice from 2001 to 2005?
No other than the Assistant Attorney General of the United States, Rod Rosenstein.
Now, that’s interesting, isn’t it?
Guess who was the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation during this timeframe???
I know, it’s a miracle, just a coincidence, just an anomaly in statistics and chances, Robert Mueller.
What do all four casting characters have in common?
They all were briefed and/or were front line investigators into the Clinton Foundation Investigation.
Now that’s just a coincidence, right?
Ok, lets chalk the last one up to mere chance.
Let’s fast forward to 2009.
James Comey leaves the Justice Department to go and cash-in at Lockheed Martin.
Hillary Clinton is running the State Department, on her own personal email server by the way.
The Uranium One “issue” comes to the attention of the Hillary.
Like all good public servants do, you know looking out for America’s best interest, she decides to support the decision and approve the sale of 20% of US Uranium to no other than, the Russians.
Now you would think that this is a fairly straight up deal, except it wasn’t, the People got absolutely nothing out of it.
However, prior to the sales approval, no other than Bill Clinton goes to Moscow, gets paid 500K for a one hour speech then meets with Vladimir Putin at his home for a few hours.
Ok, no big deal right?
Well, not so fast, the FBI had a mole inside the money laundering and bribery scheme.
Guess who was the FBI Director during this timeframe?
Yep, Robert Mueller.
He even delivered a Uranium Sample to Moscow in 2009.
Guess who was handling that case within the Justice Department out of the US Attorney’s Office in Maryland.
No other than, Rod Rosenstein.
Guess what happened to the informant?
The Department of Justice placed a GAG order on him and threatened to lock him up if he spoke out about it.
How does 20% of the most strategic asset of the United States of America end up in Russian hands when the FBI has an informant, a mole providing inside information to the FBI on the criminal enterprise?
Guess what happened soon after the sale was approved?
~145 million dollars in “donations” made their way into the Clinton Foundation from entities directly connected to the Uranium One deal.
Guess who was still at the Internal Revenue Service working the Charitable Division?
No other than, Lois Lerner.
Ok, that’s all just another series of coincidences, nothing to see here, right?
Let’s fast forward to 2015.
Due to a series of tragic events in Benghazi and after the 9 “investigations” the House, Senate and at State Department, Trey Gowdy who was running the 10th investigation as Chairman of the Select Committee on Benghazi discovers that the Hillary ran the State Department on an unclassified, unauthorized, outlaw personal email server.
He also discovered that none of those emails had been turned over when she departed her “Public Service” as Secretary of State which was required by law.
He also discovered that there was Top Secret information contained within her personally archived email.
Sparing you the State Departments cover up, the nostrums they floated, the delay tactics that were employed and the outright lies that were spewed forth from the necks of the Kerry State Department, we shall leave it with this…… they did everything humanly possible to cover for Hillary.
Now this is amazing, guess who became FBI Director in 2013?
Guess who secured 17 no bid contracts for his employer (Lockheed Martin) with the State Department and was rewarded with a six million dollar thank you present when he departed his employer.
No other than James Comey.
Amazing how all those no-bids just went right through at State, huh?
Now he is the FBI Director in charge of the “Clinton Email Investigation” after of course his FBI Investigates the Lois Lerner “Matter” at the Internal Revenue Service and exonerates her.
Nope couldn’t find any crimes there.
Can you guess what happened next?
In April 2016, James Comey drafts an exoneration letter of Hillary Rodham Clinton, meanwhile the DOJ is handing out immunity deals like candy.
They didn’t even convene a Grand Jury.
Like a lightning bolt of statistical impossibility, like a miracle from God himself, like the true “Gangsta” Homey is, James steps out into the cameras of an awaiting press conference on July the 8th of 2016, and exonerates the Hillary from any wrongdoing.
Can you see the pattern?
It goes on and on, Rosenstein becomes Asst. Attorney General, Comey gets fired based upon a letter by Rosenstein, Comey leaks government information to the press, Mueller is assigned to the Russian Investigation sham by Rosenstein to provide cover for decades of malfeasance within the FBI and DOJ and the story continues.
FISA Abuse, political espionage..... pick a crime, any crime, chances are...... this group and a few others did it.
All the same players.
All compromised and conflicted.
All working fervently to NOT go to jail themselves.
All connected in one way or another to the Clinton's.
They are like battery acid, they corrode and corrupt everything they touch.
How many lives have these two destroyed?
As of this writing, the Clinton Foundation, in its 20+ years of operation of being the largest International Charity Fraud in the history of mankind, has never been audited by the Internal Revenue Service.Let us not forget that Comey's brother works for DLA Piper, the law firm that does the Clinton Foundation's taxes.
2)
Iranian-Backed ‘Sleeper Cell’ Militants Hibernating in U.S., Positioned for Attack
Iranian militants poised to attack U.S. homeland
BY: Adam Kredo
Iranian-backed militants are operating across the United States mostly unfettered, raising concerns in Congress and among regional experts that these "sleeper cell" agents are poised to launch a large-scale attack on the American homeland, according to testimony before lawmakers.
Iranian agents tied to the terror group Hezbollah have already been discovered in the United States plotting attacks, giving rise to fears that Tehran could order a strike inside America should tensions between the Trump administration and Islamic Republic reach a boiling point.
Intelligence officials and former White House officials confirmed to Congress on Tuesday that such an attack is not only plausible, but relatively easy for Iran to carry out at a time when the Trump administration is considering abandoning the landmark nuclear deal and reapplying sanctions on Tehran.
There is mounting evidence that Iran poses "a direct threat to the homeland," according to Rep. Peter King (R., N.Y.), a member of the House Homeland Security Committee and chair of its subcommittee on counterterrorism and intelligence.
A chief concern is "Iranian support for Hezbollah, which is active in the Middle East, Latin America, and here in the U.S., where Hezbollah operatives have been arrested for activities conducted in our own country," King said, referring the recent arrest of two individuals plotting terror attacks in New York City and Michigan.
"Both individuals received significant weapons training from Hezbollah," King said. "It is clear Hezbollah has the will and capability."
After more than a decade of receiving intelligence briefs, King said he has concluded that "Hezbollah is probably the most experienced and professional terrorist organization in the world," even more so than ISIS and Al Qaeda.
Asked if Iran could use Hezbollah to conduct strikes on the United States, a panel of experts including intelligence officials and former White House insiders responded in the affirmative.
"They are as good or better at explosive devices than ISIS, they are better at assassinations and developing assassination cells," said Michael Pregent, a former intelligence officer who worked to counter Iranian influence in the region. "They're better at targeting, better at looking at things," and they can outsource attacks to Hezbollah.
"Hezbollah is smart," Pregent said. "They're very good at keeping their communications secure, keeping their operational security secure, and, again, from a high profile attack perspective, they'd be good at improvised explosive devices."
Others testifying before Congress agreed with this assessment.
"The answer is absolutely. We do face a threat," said Emanuele Ottolenghi, a senior fellow at the Foundation for Defense of Democracies who has long tracked Iran's militant efforts. "Their networks are present in the Untied States."
Iran is believed to have an auxiliary fighting force or around 200,000 militants spread across the Middle East, according to Nader Uskowi, a onetime policy adviser to U.S. Central Command and current visiting fellow at the Washington Institute for Near East Policy.
At least 50 to 60 thousand of these militants are "battle tested" in Syria and elsewhere.
"It doesn't take many of them to penetrate this country and be a major threat," Uskowi said. "They can pose a major threat to our homeland."
While Iran is currently more motivated to use its proxies such as Hezbollah regionally for attacks against Israel or U.S. forces, "those sleeper cells" positioned in the United States could be used to orchestrate an attack, according to Brian Katulis, a former member of the White House National Security Council under President Bill Clinton.
"The potential is there, but the movement's center of focus is in the region," said Katulis, a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress.
Among the most pressing threats to the U.S. homeland is Hezbollah's deep penetration throughout Latin America, where it finances its terror activities by teaming up with drug cartels and crime syndicates.
"Iran's proxy terror networks in Latin America are run by Tehran's wholly owned Lebanese franchise Hezbollah," according to Ottolenghi. "These networks are equal part crime and terror" and have the ability to provide funding and logistics to militant fighters.
"Their presence in Latin America must be viewed as a forward operating base against America's interest in the region and the homeland itself," he said.
These Hezbollah operatives exploit loopholes in the U.S. immigration system to enter America under the guise of legitimate business.
Operatives working for Hezbollah and Iran use the United States "as a staging ground for trade-based and real estate-based money laundering." They "come in through the front door with a legitimate passport and a credible business cover story," Ottolenghi said.
The matter is further complicated by Iran's presence in Syria, where it has established not only operating bases, but also weapons factories that have fueled Hezbollah's and Hamas's war on Israel.
Iran's development of advanced ballistic missile and rocket technology—which has continued virtually unimpeded since the nuclear deal was enacted—has benefitted terror groups such as Hezbollah.
"Iran is increasing Hezbollah's capability to target Israel with more advanced and precision guided rockets and missiles," according to Pregent. "These missiles are being developed in Syria under the protection of Syrian and Russian air defense networks."
In Iraq, Iranian forces "have access to U.S. funds and equipment in the Iraqi Ministry of Defense and Iraq's Ministry of Interior," Pregent said.
The Trump administration has offered tough talk on Iran, but failed to take adequate action to dismantle its terror networks across the Middle East, as well as in Latin American and the United States itself, according to CAP's Katulis.
"The Trump administration has talked a good game and has had strong rhetoric, but I would categorize its approach vis-à-vis Iran as one of passive appeasement," said Katulis. "We simply have not shown up in a meaningful way."
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3) Trump’s Realist Syria Strategy
By Walter Russell Mead
4)
3) Trump’s Realist Syria Strategy
The president’s goal is to avoid bailing out without getting sucked in.
By Walter Russell Mead
.As the echoes from President Trump’s second Syrian missile strike died away, many observers criticized the administration for lacking a coherent strategy. There is more than a little truth to the charge. The drama and disarray of this often-dysfunctional White House does not suggest a Richelieu at work. The presidential Twitter feed has not always been consistent or levelheaded on the topic of the Syrian war, and it is hard to reconcile Mr. Trump’s denunciations of Bashar al-Assad and his warnings about Iranian aggression with his apparent determination to remove U.S. troops from Syria as quickly as possible.
The tangled politics of last week’s missile strikes illustrate the contradictions in Mr. Trump’s approach. The president is a realist who believes that international relations are both highly competitive and zero-sum. If Iran and Russia threaten the balance of power in the Middle East, it is necessary to work with any country in the region that will counter them, irrespective of its human-rights record. The question is not whether there are political prisoners in Egypt; the question is whether Egypt shares U.S. interests when it comes to opposing Iran.
Yet the rationale for the missile strikes was not realist but humanitarian and legalistic: Syria’s illegal use of chemical weapons against its own people demanded or at least justified the Western attacks. For any kind of activist Middle East policy, Mr. Trump needs allies—including neoconservatives and liberal internationalists at home and foreign allies like Britain and France abroad—and the realpolitik approach he wishes to pursue would alienate them.
Nevertheless, as is often the case with this unconventional administration, a pattern if not quite a strategy is beginning to emerge—one defined as much by what the president rejects as by what he seeks to accomplish. The administration’s approach looks and often is erratic, but beneath the rants and the posturing Mr. Trump seems to be working toward an approach to the Middle East that reflects the interplay of American politics and interests in a strangely coherent way.
Mr. Trump sounds inconsistent at least in part because his choices are so unappealing. Iran’s Russia-assisted march toward regional dominance leaves the U.S. caught between two courses. Letting Iran have its way in Syria opens the door to a much more dangerous confrontation between Israel and its Arab partners on one side and Tehran on the other. But denying Iran a victory in Syria almost certainly would mean major American military commitments, as well as another extended exercise in nation-building as the U.S. tries to cobble together some kind of viable, nonradical government in Damascus.
Mr. Trump recoils from both choices on both political and policy grounds. Standing back while Russia and Iran run the table in the Middle East would be bad policy and bad politics—but so, too, would rushing into another Iraq-style military and political effort to stabilize Syria. The goal is to avoid bailing out without getting sucked in.
Mr. Trump may be unintentionally arriving at a form of offshore balancing. Rather than seek to impose an order of its own design on the turbulent region, Washington would simply ensure that no other power or group of powers succeeds in dominating the Middle East. When the balance of power appeared secure, the U.S. would have a low profile in the region; but when, as now, the balance appeared to be threatened, the U.S. would be more forward-leaning, working with partners who share its concerns to contain the ambitions of revisionist powers. Mr. Trump also seeks compensation from the countries whose independence America supports; rich allies like Saudi Arabia and Kuwait should help pay for their defense.
For Mr. Trump, this is a common-sense approach to a thorny problem, and while the pressures of events—and the united efforts of his advisers—may sometimes cause him to deviate, his inner compass always returns to this course.
Mr. Trump’s approach carries its share of risks, but its failure is by no means assured. Both Russia and Iran are overstretched. They suffer from weak economies and parasitical state structures. Their populations are not in love with their Syrian adventures. Despite recent increases, oil prices remain well below the level they require to fund their ambitious foreign policies while meeting domestic needs. Expanded sanctions against both Russia and Iran are gaining support in Europe. Simultaneously, Arab-Israeli cooperation against Iran continues to gel. A coalition of front-line states, promoted and supported by the United States, may ultimately address the Iran problem in ways no outside power ever could.
The Trump agenda has a real chance of success in the Middle East—but only if the Trump administration can master the dark arts of alliance management. That may seem unlikely, but if there is one thing we have learned about this president, it is that he can be tactically flexible in pursuit of his goals
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An Israeli's message to Mark Zuckerberg
I have used Facebook for years as a platform to share my thoughts, comments and articles. I value that platform because of its global reach. It connected me to some of my friends in France, the USA, UK, Canada, Australia and many other countries. It is a window to the world to differing opinions by allowing me to see what my friends think and share on their walls. It gives me an outlet to speak my mind and to share my thoughts on topics ranging from domestic politics to the Arab-Israeli conflict.
However, I have observed that your social media has reached a point of violent anti-Semitism, at least for me, and I guess many other people too. I am appalled by Facebook’s insistence to allow this on social media. I cannot believe that a group that calls for the death of the Jews, your own people for that matter, does not violate Facebook’s “Community Standards.” Do you realize how dangerous your media has become allowing the anti-Semites of the world to vomit their hate on Israel?
I am disgusted that Facebook not only calls this group socially acceptable, but it endangers the lives of our brothers, our families, our children, and more importantly, our people as a whole.
Free Speech should not be Hate Speech.
We all know too well that allowing such a negative behavior only encourages the killing of Jews as we have seen it lately when Facebook users that were anti-Zionists and posting anti-Jewish posts assassinated innocent people in France, Israel or elsewhere.
You were quoted coming to the defense of Muslims after the November 2015 Paris attacks “As a Jew, my parents taught me that we must stand up against attacks on all communities. Even if an attack isn’t against you today, in time attacks on freedom for anyone will hurt everyone.
So I wonder Mr.Zuckerberg have you forgotten or ignored your statement that all of us should “stand up against attacks on all communities?” Maybe you do not even know about the double standards applied to Jews and Palestinians on Facebook?
The latest violence in Gaza sponsored by Hamas has launched a virulent anti-Israel campaign on Facebook against Israel and therefore the Jews in general.
I remember you said last year on your Facebook page:
”For me, the most important tradition is to remember that we will not be truly free until every person is free”.
I am asking you a simple question, are you really free? If you do not support your people. I believe you are still in Egypt and you have not yet escaped it morally.
Why I am saying this is because my account has been suspended 3 times (30 days each time) in the lat 4 months. Every comment I posted in favor of Israel, your automated response said i was violating Facebook community standards.
In France, rumors abound that Facebook's moderators are located in Muslim countries such as Tunisia, Algeria,Morocco and Pakistan and that explains why most critics of hamas, Islam and political Islam are censored by Muslim moderators who support Hamas.
My comments were not offensive but true but based on facts. Some examples:
· Hamas is using children as Human shields,
· 14 of the 16 killed in Gaza were Hamas terrorists,
· Israel has the right to defend itself…and so on
And every time, I get the same answer: ”Your behavior is not allowed on Facebook by violating Facebook Community Standards”
Facebook is dealing with some serious contradictions of promoting free speech while running the world’s biggest social network, after being called out on the gap between words and Facebook policy.
I reported hundreds of times the violent and anti-Semitic hate speech posted on Facebook that should be considered against your Community Standards.
The anti-Semites who abound on Facebook post the same hatred that led the Jewish people to the gas chambers.
This group spews the same hateful propaganda that targeted a minority population to carry out a systematic genocide against the Jews in Europe. Are you conscious of that?
No Hate Speech on Facebook, unless it’s against the Jews, of course!
This is not the first time that Facebook chooses to take sides. I have reported several pages over the last five years only to get the same answer from Facebook staff.
This group produces the same vile hatred that has persecuted your people for millennia under the false premises that the Jewish people are the cause of all of the world’s problems.
I think Facebook has a moral obligation to stop giving anti-Semites a voice and an outlet to call for murdering Jews and comparing Israel to Nazi Germany. It is unacceptable for a social media as important as yours to allow such blatant Jew-hatred, or any hatred for that matter.
As a Jew, you can’t ignore the hateful rhetoric against Jews that has been rampant on Facebook for decades. Or perhaps it just doesn't matter to you?
If you read this letter, I hope that you take my words to heart and do the courageous thing. Do the humane thing. Do the right thing.
· · Remove all Facebook pages that call for the death of Jews, Israelis (or Zionists).
· ·
· Remove all articles from biased media like Al-Jazeera, TeleSUR, RT, MintPress News, Middle East Eye, Sydney Morning Herald, BBC, The Guardian, Le Monde, Le Figaro, Courrier international, Le Nouvelobs, Le Parisien and others if they promote hatred against Israel and the Jews.
· Remove this comment posted (april 2016) on your page with 475 likes
We all know too well that anti-Zionism is anti-Semitism. Dr Martin Luther King Jr put it this way when he was approached by a student who attacked Zionism, when people criticize Zionists, King said, they mean Jews. You're talking anti-Semitism.
I urge you, Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook to respond the call and stand as a proud Jew against the blatant Jew-hatred that has plagued us for millennia and has only gotten stronger in the last few weeks.
The time has come where our people need to be united as one. Our people need to come together and support one another, but you just have to be a proponent of truth, justice, fairness and accountability for all mankind. If we don’t say anything, we have no right to complain when Israelis are getting stabbed to death on the streets of Israel or French Jews machine gunned in a kosher supermarket or Mireille Knoll, the 85-year-old Jewish Holocaust survivor who was murdered in her apartment.
Mark Zuckerberg, we recently celebrated Pesach Give yourself a chance to leave Egypt.
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5)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++* I just got back from a pleasure trip.
I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years!
If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!
* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"
* We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed.
My wife called it the Dead Sea
* She was at the beauty shop for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
* The Doctor gave a man six months to live.
The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him
another six months.
* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying,
"Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. "
Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"
Patient: "I am 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"
* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"
* A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."
The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.
In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!
A man called his mother in Florida ,
"Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
"Force yourself," she replied.
Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
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